Trapped

Everybody would have a different opinion, on how much we express and how much we speak about what we think. It is certain that for many becomes a dificult task, to shape what it is they're thinking and then having the courage to say it out loud. For others, it is a bit more easy and it happens smoothly, they just speak their mind. And I can't stop thinking about what that professor told me, that not everything I say should have a purpose enough to be said, maybe for me it does, but for others it just don't.

And so far, I still have issues dealing with that, because my freedom comes from that expression and without it, I feel lost. But at the same time I fear my own words, my own ideas and questions... I'm not even writing these lines, I created a version of myself to do so. Which makes this situation grow and grow... Why can't people just share information without so many limits and barriers? Who has the power to decide when or how? If I just feel I deserve it, then why not?

Prepare myself for different scenarios.. sure.. but that can't fill the void, it might not be disturbing my life or my smiles or my feelings increasing and expanding, but it will still be real, these questions to which I probably already have an answer, will remain there, expecting your words.

I don't ever stop talking even when I'm lying, I do my best not to hold myself from saying things, but when it comes to questions, there's so much fear, so many doubts, the list keeps on growing and I wonder how some people don't have any trouble with just asking or is it just a fake response I created to push myself through it? All I know by far is that there might be too much control making damages that are growing beyond any need.

If I could get a sign, something that would tell me that sure, it is ok to ask those questions, it's fine to just say exactly what I'm thinking and not to fear consecuences this much? Would that make me less human?

Because lately I've realized that I'm not as free as I thought...

Photo by: Vivian Alvarez
In the photo: Lovely Wal
Lyrics by Coldplay

A whisper (x4)
A whisper (x4)
I hear the sound of the ticking of clocks
Who remembers your face
Who remembers you when you are gone
I hear the sound of the ticking of clocks
Come back and look for me
Look for me when I am lost
And just a whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper

Just a whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper

Night turns to day
And I still have these questions
Bridges will break
Should I go forwards or backwards
Night turns to day
And I still get no answers
Just a whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper
A whisper, whisper, whisper

(just a whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper)
I hear the sound of the ticking of clocks
Who remembers your face
Who remembers you when you are gone

I hear the sound of the ticking of clocks
Come back and look for me
Look for me when I am lost
And I am just a whisper, a whisper, a whisper, a whisper

Just a whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper

Oh ha ah ah ah ah ah ah

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