To Flirt

0 voices

How confident can we ever feel?
How comfortable do we need to be with ourselves?
How secure and how real in our own skin?
Always aware of everything around us.

We open a window, we let them take a look... invite them to come and see this part of us, this superficial version of everything we can be.

So many and different actions, moves, attitudes that compiling them could be so hard... Each one of us can have such a unique strategy, but one common goal... to get his attention, just that.

Fun in the playing, fun in the amusing reactions, fun in the simplicity... Like a very expressive kind of language that we've learned for years and that we allow ourselves to apply as much as we want. Because sometimes, we don't even notice when it begins.

If I stare at you, if you notice I notice you, if there's an idea that crosses your mind, then I had what I wanted, now I'm pleased and you gave me the satisfaction I needed. You joined my game maybe not really knowing what I'm planning, perhaps thinking you'll take control over this, but so unaware of what I'm actually doing.

This hobby of mine, this amazing way of reminding myself how connected we can all be, and you becoming a part of it just by reacting to my little smile, slow blinking and loud silence.

While I'm staring I'm thinking, and I'm talking to you through thoughts thanking you for making me feel this way, for wanting to look inside and maybe, beginning something fun with me.

How much fun could we have?
How risky could our playing be?
How much energy could we waste in delaying the pleasure of going one step further?
... and after all these words, I'll be flirting with you again, and again, and again.
Read On

2 lines-Thought: If only

0 voices

You were at the end of this bed
asking for the right answers
Read On

Let Her Go

0 voices

There's all these versions of you, if in fact you believe that then go ahead and read some more.

Not all versions work together, or show up at the same time, but they exist, they develop and they represent a diversity of sides, those that girls can own and carry so well. There are sides that shine and have bright colors, golden emotions and can elevate the mind over the heart in order to accomplish. Some other sides are darker, heavier and easily expand, those sides that can show up when our heart gets too functional to follow instructions.

Different in each one, but we own them all and we must learn how to identify them and understand them, in order to be aware of when there's a side of us that is just making too much of a mess, and we need to take control over it. Like when pain numbs our thoughts, and we breathe, think and make decisions based on pure and toxic suffering or fear. That side, that version of us, we must try to control or just dismiss.

Control itself can only do so much, most of our sides are guided by a balance between our heart and mind, but if we just give up to the idea that anything can come along and cause huge amounts of damage, and we just have to stand there and wait for it to go away on its own, then that's just wrong... at least, for me and my sides, it is.

So the ideal plan would be to become aware of when there's a side that is offering more hurting than peace, and say goodbye to that version of us. That's the plan, and for some I could just be writing to fill lines in this box, but for me it isn't that crazy; it can be done and it would not mean cutting something out, just making a choice to feel better.

Tonigh I'm not writing just for me, but for close people that might need this just like I do. Tonight I give these words to them, and remind them something that brings a little peace to me, something that made me erase that consuming side when I needed to, that side that would not let me smile again; we don't need for things to change, we just need to make sense again. Put that side in motion, out through the exit door, and let her go.
Read On

No Longer Match

0 voices

I'll be steping on this ground again
finding a way to your ways and echoes
seeking for wires to connect
and content to attach to

I'll be wandering around this space again
looking for glass to see through
waiting for the sounds of joy
and ideas to write about

I'll be swimming in those seas of stillness
bringing words back to the surface
reminding all this disappointment
and broken pieces that no longer match

Lyrics by The Cardigans

I wonder what it's like
seeing through your eyes
You've offered me to have a try
but I was always late
The filters that I use
give me an excuse
I take away what's real
I feel it and it blows my fuse
I hang around
for another round
I'm hanging around
for another round
I'm hanging on
to the same old song
I hang around
for another round
Until something stops me
I wonder what it's like
walking by your side
To think before I talk
and to move at the same speed as you walk
I want to have a weight
to keep me in your state
I'm watching from above
I love it but it's not for me
Read On


0 voices

In just a few lines, I could easily describe you... but I won't
Not because I don't have enough words
But because I rather keep most of them for myself

In a matter of time and space
Your presence surprises me
Within the disappearance of faith and the lack of hope
Your esence shows value to what's left

In just these few lines I can recall this feeling
Only because you've been always the same
And because you came to fill the void
Read On

Unwanted Permission

0 voices

'Cause they've told you about them
How you could reach out and gain something better
But there's too much in-between for you to see clearly
And your trust keeps on dying to make it all even harder

And they say you'd finally end up surrounded by any of them
While you think of ways to escape, to fly away
'Cause it feels so different to try the unknown
...knowing how much risking has broke your heart

They might be right, and my head crushes on this thought
Seeing myself walking and nodding along towards them
Sad visions of what I thought I was will stare at me
Singing tunes of shame and wondering what led me to it

'Cause they've told me about them
And I've met them as well, always with an exit pass
Aware of the danger of staying too long
But risking with each visit, each night, each permission I give myself

Lyrics by Death Cab For Cutie

Cath, she stands with a well-intentioned man
But she can't relax with his hand on the small of her back
And as the flashbulbs burst
She holds a smile like someone would hold a crying child

And soon everybody will ask what became of you

'Cause your heart was dying fast, and you didn't know what to do

Cath, it seems that you live in someone else's dream

In a hand-me-down wedding dress
Where the things that could have been are repressed
But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more

And soon everybody will ask what became of you

'Cause your heart was dying fast, and you didn't know what to do

The whispers that it won't last roll up and down the pews

But if their hearts were dying that fast,
They'd have done the same as you
And I'd have done the same as you
Read On

And My Hair Will Grow

0 voices

I'll meet you in a park or a train station
I'll meet you surrounded by people unaware of this special moment
I'll meet you wearing something special
and with this unique and significative promise I made for you

I'll kiss you and hug you
You'll smile and stay silent
I'll make sure you know how happy I'd be to be with you

Because I've missed you for years
Since we met...
I've longed you for a long time
and I'm sure my life will be complete after seeing your face

So I won't make plans, or think of the best way to make it happen
I'll just hold on to this desire with a smile
Because we'll always be there for each other
And that moment will be so special that I won't even be able to imagine
My hair will grow and then it will just happen.
Read On

Wave After Wave

0 voices

It was chosen before she was born, that insane appreciation for the rush... there's not much she can do about that, what does depend on her will is the way she stands and waits for it.

She's had different experiences, some more intense than others, some fresher but they all match at one specific attribute, as for the strenght they carry and goes through her body when she gets to live it.

As a routine, she goes over and over to find that mark to stand on, and gets herself ready in a very unconscious way to receive a set of sensations, strong, powerful and hurtful sensations.

It usually knocks her down, almost causing some physical damage and she can't really say what's so great about it, but soon enough she'll find herself standing on that spot once again, because they say there could be greatness after it, and she hopes for it.

Maybe she finds different positions, thinking of ways not to get hit with such impact, perhaps she'll figure out how to stand quicker before letting the water drag her down, but I'm sure it will still break her a little.

Somewhere there's a part of her head that has the answer to that way of living, probably it has something to do with the idea of maybe one day, she would finally be floating away... but everytime the wave pushes her down, it also pushes her far away from it.

So she'll just recover herself from the last one, to then be sure that with fake will power, some sad awareness and low amounts of faith, her body and heart will be facing it again watching as the hit gets closer and closer.

Lyrics by Fastball

They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going Without ever knowing the way?
They drank up the wine
And they got to talking
They now had more important things to say
And when the car broke down They started walking
Where were they going without ever knowing the way?

Anyone could see The road that they walk on is paved in gold
And It's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll Never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows Wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happier there today , today

The children woke up
And they couldn't find 'em
They Left before the sun came up that day
They just drove off
And left it all behind 'em
But Where were they going Without ever knowing the way?

Anyone could see The road that they walk on is paved in gold
And It's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll Never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows Wandering off somewhere
They Won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happy there today , today
Read On