Earning This Bath

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Not like in some kind of race
Where the main point of the process is to get somewhere first
Not like that.
Because I've been first, second and third... and it really doesn't matter, 
the sensations can always change.

And even when I still find it hard to believe
The edge is now farther than before,
like those little details in the frames of different memories
No matter how hard you try to hold them
they disappear.

I'm just demanding without persuing
Letting go without regretting
Loosing without forgetting
Because for a moment I felt like they all had me
They all kept a piece of me that I just gave away
Breaking apart
Vanishing as boiling water.

Not like fighting for power
Power that my head still thinks is worth having
Just making a connection between these lines and the inside of me
This inside that knows I deserve more
More than what I've been settling for.

I'm not removing the seeds from the fruit
but only eating what feels good in my mouth
Assuming these decisions as my own
and not something other people made me do
with my permission and my permission only.
Read On

Probably Me

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It's probably me...

Who thinks way too much about your last phrase
Who smiles before telling you the crap that goes through my head
The one that would steal your breath if only I had more courage
The selfish kind of human that would tear a kiss down
The one that would never be allowed in your mind.

It's probable me...

Who never truly faced the honest side of your words
The one that keeps on picking up the crumbs
From that wasted essence of bond that once existed.

It's probably me...

The number you felt like dialing a couple times
Who liked more one blink than the other
Who you will blame and judge
The one that won't ever get what you owe
Who will have to feed myself from pending ideas
The same person waiting behind a screen
Who felt like she deserved a bit of your attention


It's probably me...

Who chose lemon over cinnamon
The one who found herself away from you.
Read On

Lyla

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I'm getting to you
Reaching out and almost sensing your light
You're as close as air, air that I'm not sure I can actually hold on to
But you're around, closer than before.

I'm choosing not to avoid you
Giving you the opportunity to walk nearby
Surrounding me with your energy,
Such weird and inexplicable energy.

I'm starting to enjoy this
Seeing the good side of you
Making an effort to trust
Trust myself by trusting you.

Lyrics by Oasis
Calling all the stars to fall
And catch the silver sunlight in your hands
Come for me and set me free
Lift me up and take me where I stand

She believes in everything
And everyone and you and yours and mine
I've waited for a thousand years
For you to come and blow me out my mind

Hey, Lyla!
The stars are about to fall
So what d'you say, Lyla?
The world around us makes me feel so small, Lyla!
If you can't hear me call then I can't say, Lyla!
Heaven'll help you catch me if I fall

She's the queen of all I've seen
And every song and city far and near
Heaven help my mademoiselle
She rings the bell for all the world to hear

Hey, Lyla!
The stars are about to fall
So what d'you say, Lyla?
The world around us makes me feel so small, Lyla!
If you can't hear me call then I can't say, Lyla!
Heaven'll help you catch me if I fall
Read On

Because Is That Easy

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There's always one more page on a different notebook, with extra lines to write on... and if you run out of them, there will always be a new notebook to be bought. Because is that easy, it just is.

There will always be ice tea in that restaurant, or vodka in that bar, and if you find yourself not getting any, you can always move on to the next restaurant or bar. Because is that easy, it just is.

There could always be someone putting more lights over our roads, lights to make sure you know I can handle everything... and if you realize the lights are starting to disappear, there will always be me figuring out the situation... Because is that easy, or so it seems.

Because as much as I loose pens, hair clips and sun glasses I started loosing the sense of super manager, so diligent, so dedicated, so willing. Letting everything else steal my energy as I hold the broken pieces together, without watching them too close... Because is that easy, or at least I thought it was.

There's always one more ice cube, for that great tea or tasteful vodka, and if you figure out there won't be any more ice, and you need it, you want it, you really desire it... Go get it yourself, because is that easy.

Lyrics by Hey Mercedes

Cluttered little head and i'm living in bed
And I'm a-waiting on an operation
So help me operator, will you try it again?
I'm in desperation's arms
i know that's it's late and she's not awake
But I've never ever been more ready
... Pick up the phone

I gotta tell you
I remember one night in your parents' ride
Under the light of the passing airplanes
In the freezing cold a forever was told
It came out in plain air
So bottle never fear cause
I've commandeered the number of your new beau's home
But are you ever there?

Miss runaway
Get back to me
I've never needed you more than right away
Babe it's been a blast

My new muse, she'll be so unamused
But I've been bruised in the map of the memory
Maybe her mail's a remarkable mess
She'd get back to me by now
So bottle never fear cause

I've commandeered the number of her new beau's home
But is she ever there?
No

Miss runaway
Get back to me
I've never needed you more than right away

Babe it's been a blast
Write back
All the arguments are not the same without you
And I don't care if you don't care but
A messed up man must do what he needs to

It's been a blast
Write back
All the arguments are not the same without you
And I don't care if you don't care cause
A messed up mind must do what it needs to.

Read On

I'm Ready

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As my hand leading this finger towards the wall,
because there's a button to press,
for one action
for one reaction

As the final strawberry about to be placed on that cake,
because one perfect dessert has a final touch
for one unique flavor
for one unique sensation

As the perfect appereance in front of an early mirror,
because we make sure we're all set,
for one clean presentation
for one perfect intent

I'm ready
I'm ready
Baby, I'm ready

Lyrics by Depeche Mode


If you've been hiding from love
If you've been hiding from love
I can understand where you're coming from
I can understand where you're coming from

If you've suffered enough
If you've suffered enough
I can understand what you're thinking of
I can see the pain that you're frightened of

And I'm only here
To bring you free love
Let's make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love

I've been running like you
I've been running like you
Now you understand why I'm running scared
Now you understand why I'm running scared

I've been searching for truth
I've been searching for truth
And I haven't been getting anywhere
No I haven't been getting anywhere

And I'm only here
To bring you free love
Let's make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love

Hey girl
You've got to take this moment
Then let it slip away
Let go of complicated feelings
Then there's no price to pay

We've been running from love
We've been running from love
And we don't know what we're doing here
No we don't know what we're doing here

We're only here
Sharing our free love
Let's make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
Read On

I Blame You

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Here's just a bunch of random thoughts, don't even try to make any sense of the following lines... We can't blame Annie for this post tonight. I'm just so sick of it.

I hate you for putting pieces together this way, appearing on these scenarios after you were just an invisible idea. Not strong enough to push my breaths out. Gone, you were gone and it was just fine, so why did you come back? For nothing, no reason, just as a selfish animal seeking for what it thought it needed. Freaking creature, just go away.

I hate you for these 20 minutes
I hate you for those 35 minutes
I hate you for the 17
I hate you for the printed shirt and the fake ideas
I hate you for the person you're not
I hate you for the demons in your head
I hate you for the ego eating you up
I hate you for the pretending of a fading life
I hate you for doing this to me

...Just a bunch of ideas and some deep breaths before posting. Because Annie felt like spiting out all of these sensations, just to see if they make any impression on them... like making them vanish for good. Vanish for good.
Read On

Current

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No blinking permitted
It will happen any time soon
Either this body will push down
Or the ground will suck it in

Pending
Pending
Pending

Current state: struggling with gravity for unknown reasons
Maybe just asking this force:
"When will you drop me?"
Read On