Before It Ends

0 voices

...because it does, and I've learnt to smile at ending moments, even if my minds keeps track of every detail.

That night I wanted to say it all, right before we closed our eyes
Back then I wished I told you I felt happy, and warm with your arm around me.
My mouth so wanted to smile at you and kiss you, right before time would come and take us away.
I should have... I really should have.

...Kissed you a lot more.. maybe hug you more,
but instead I'm regreting and staring at this other me laying on my right that says it was supposed to be that way.

There's no order or sense in my lines, not tonight
Just because this sad moment will end and vanish
just as we did that evening, when I should have hug you a bit longer
... kissed you a bit longer.

But instead I'm bending my knees closer to my chest
seconds away from sleep and new hours of mixed thoughts.
Because they will come, less and less but they will
reminding me that moments will always end, but it doesn't mean I can't just be.
Read On

2 lines-Thought

0 voices


Let me show you how with one phrase I can release my head for a good night sleep:

I miss you and I would do it all over again.
Read On

Making The Blood Reach My Brain

0 voices


They were the same
He said he knew everything
She said she had always assumed that way
He said what he would always say
She said the opposite of what she was thinking

He said "What are you doing?"
She tried to make sense of her response
He appeared not to expect anwers
She said "You will always be the same"

They were different, but the same
She said she would always need him
He said he knew 
She asked him why he would act that way
He said words that didn't come from his heart

They are the same
She says she doesn't want him away
He says he won't ever be.
Read On

As I Stare

0 voices

I've seen them, many times
in such a different way, always
not the same way they see me
like if there was a piece of gray glass
inbetween.

The whole back and forth
can just be my fault
and for repeated mistakes
I'm sure I'll sign up.

Stained relationships of old stories...
Damaged friendships that keep on hiding phrases...
Skins that can't feel that they really wanna feel...
Blocked hearts that prefer not to taste what's there...
Lips that rather stay sealed than to make things worse...
And then me, staring at all of them together.

I've seen them
Loved them
Walked them
Heard them
Felt them
Touched them
but still...

Lyrics by Metric

Saw the water, not the waves
Caught your eye, forgot your name
Always leaving, either way
I want you to stop me

Episodes to fantasize
TV movie of our lives
The future is all mine
I'll find it on my way back

When I'm gone
I'll know what I've done
I'll go where I don't belong

It's all, not one
I love everything
No sleep; I lose everything
Oh don't tell me again
I won't see you again

Not one
I love everything
No sleep; I lose everything
Oh, don't tell me again
I won't see you again

Saw the waves, but not the tide
I couldn't stay, I don't know why
A sailor married to the sea
My luck is a lost key

The door is locked from the inside
Don't wait around, I won't arrive
Keep a room somewhere for me
I'll find it on my way back

When I'm gone
I'll know what I've done
I'll go where I don't belong

It's all, not one
I love everything
No sleep; I lose everything
Oh don't tell me again
I won't see you again
Read On

Add

0 voices

Add some pushing desires to my behavior and you'll find the right answer to what my face shows. Because whenever  I perceive I can comply with someone's needs, then I throw myself to the void of just doing it.

I adjust, and adjust and adjust once more... because I can and because I grow when people around me is satisfied or not uncomfortable at all, like if that would only depend on me and would also cover for the burying of what I want or need. Me in a second or third place, always.

Add some lying expressions, and a smile that's suppose to make them believe I'm just fine, and you'll find my current status so regular in time.

I adjust, and adjust, and then keep on adjusting.
And even when to all that adjustment I add all the anger of this frustation aware of the non-adjusting of others, I don't stop.

Lyrics byHooverphonic

Overwhelming as they are
Breeding hope by counting stars
Merge the bitterness the pain
Which I'm sure
You can explain again
One gets hurt when she feels small
( And she's longing for some peace )
Beeing the center of it all
( Slow attack but fast release )
Hear the difference in vain
Out of tune but just not quite the same
Overwhelming as they are
( With their mistifying glow )
Breeding hope by counting stars
( As they hunger for the show )
Hear the difference in vain
Out of tune but just not quite the same
Read On

Storm Coming

0 voices


This is what happens when you choose to make me feel this way
And I hate it, and I wish I could pretend you don't
but you do, you so do.

And I wish I could erase you from earth
Make you and your movements vanish
Just because what you do makes me ill

My emotions can only go this far, and then I loose control over them
There could be a storm coming after you leave
And if your brain decides to show up again
I would think before speaking...

...Your words make me ache
...Your answers sound like coming from a robot
...just choosing the right command to respond
...and I just can't believe you do that to me.

Because this is what happens when you don't exist
in my head or reality.
Because cold is a better status, when warm doesn't match with you.
I am tired, of everything, you included
So I'll let the storm take part of me
Because you don't care and this anger should only grow, and grow
And all I think about is how much I wish things were different.

Lyrics by Soda Stereo
Alguna vez fue que planeamos
hacernos todo el daño de una vez
dictando una sentencia desafiante
no existes

La polaroid sobre la silla
un brillante truco de apariencia
tu presencia es mi pesadilla
no existes

Como un extraño tic nervioso
arrojo palabras
gestos contra la pared
Toda una noche embalsamados
golpee las mismas caras una y otra vez
temi por mi cerebro aprisionado
en una trama vulgar
Quizas deba tomarme una revancha
aun tenemos cuentas que saldar
deslizare mi puño por tu espalda
no existes

Como un extraño tic nervioso
arrojo palabras
gestos contra la pared
pulso salvaje
Destellos contra la pared
no existes
Read On

Renting

0 voices


Nothing new, nothing too impressive, just repeated words, well known phrases, heard lines by familiar ears... nothing new.

Renting excuses, reasons and ideas. Many and different answers to your whys and to that bag of wondering. Like going to a small shop looking for more words from me, knowing that all these you already own, they belong to you.

Shared memories, different versions of our story, dates and pieces of paper in a box... Renting images of millions of versions to our lost future, new smiles and a bunch of definitions to our bond. Because it seems like you're addicted to that sick old place.

But I'm no longer there, and all that is gone, there's nothing else to rent or to borrow. Then why would you?

...Why would you?

If I went back tonight, I'm sure I would have more things to rent, because this is what you keep on doing to us, giving me foundations to create new words, phrases, ideas, lines and states... why would you? If we are so much better away from there. We are.

Lyrics by Metric

Hold it I'm about to drop off
Let me tell you my last thought
Drift into a deep fog
Lost where I forgot to hold it
I can feel you most when I'm alone

Coming home cause I want to
Hang out with a starlet
Stare up at the ceiling
Preview of a screening
Flashback of a feeling
Sixth sense of a calling
I heard you fuck through the wall
I heard you fuck

When I'm bored
I send vibrations
In your direction
From the satellite mind

I'm not suicidal
I just can't get out of bed
I drift into a deep fog
Lost where I forgot to hold it
I can feel you most when I'm alone
I can fell your ghost when I'm alone

Coming home cause I want to
Hang out with a starlet
Stare up at the ceiling
Hiding and revealing
Flashback of a feeling
Sixth sense of a calling
I heard you fuck through the wall
I heard you fuck

When I'm bored
I send vibrations
In your direction
From the satellite mind

When your voice
Became vibrations
From the satellite mind

It sounded like mine
Read On

Different Kisses

0 voices

Simple as the color gray
they rest in a separate space

Locked as important papers
they remain until I say otherwise

Weird as backward stories
they each have individual pieces of me

Special as a given whisper
they are gold to my needs

Different kisses I don't share all the time
Different kisses I don't show to the world
Different kisses I protect as my greatest treasure
Different kisses I didn't share in a long, long time

Contagious as a pretty illness
they are not for everyone

Obedient as brave soldiers
they wait for my instructions

Different kisses I gave you
Different kisses you earned
Different kisses that won't ever come back to me
Different kisses I would share again, and again...
Read On

Volumen Button

0 voices

 
I once dreamed about people with a volume button on their heads. One you could just turn up or down as you wanted to, letting out all the thoughts running through the mind. If I wanted to, I could turn up the volume of any head just to avoid the effort of asking, or waiting for that person to express... But that was just a freaky dream, nothing more.

Reality turns out a lot differently, perhaps better than having the sound of millions of thoughts wherever we'd go. The truth is that we own them and are the only ones that can decide when to let them out in words or other ways of expression. There's no one that can make us bring that to the real scenario (in the most democratic idea), and sometimes that fact can be both hypocrite and frustrating.

Knowing me, there's no need to explain why of the frustrating part, but the hypocrite goes around how some say they speak their mind all the time, or that they say exactly what they think... Honestly, why say so if it isn't true?

Maybe is a phrase that can easily excuse our stupidity or the lack of courage we might fall into after saying something we'd regret later... Maybe is a phrase we wish we could believe in, but doesn't really happen that way; there is always something in our heads that we won't share, won't say or express. The avoiding of certain awkward situations or the not believing in our weakness could be the principal reasons, but that's just how it is.

Then why not just assume it? Like this: "I don't say everything I think even if you're standing in front of me and my thoughts are screaming to you inside my head, I don't let them out... And I hope I could adjust to the idea that you are going through the same as me, leaving us both in mute"

... see? that wasn't so bad after all...

Lyrics by The Morning Benders

here I am again
trying to relearn how to breathe
and how easy it sinks
and slips away from me

what has become
of those simple loves
that came to me once, so naturally

sitting in my box
I am reading alive
disconnecting dots
that I twisted in my eyes

what has become
of those simple loves
that came to me once, so naturally
Read On

Scores

0 voices


Amounts of time I've played a song, or I've said a certain phrase. Times I've chosen green over yellow, or coffee over tea. Some moments I've ran instead of just staying still...

A record of food steps, wrong foot steps, but each one a different step to count. Times I've chosen to sealed my lips instead of speaking my mind, so many times that I can't count them anymore... Just like a foolish collection I'm ashamed of. Records of fails but lived moments, mine more than the air itself, records of my decisions... like something to be proud of.

Like those I have others, and they come often to me... Clear and straight movements I can't say I don't recognize, but I let them in... add them to my wall of scores, thinking how many I can still fit in here, and how each one makes me feel.

This last one I can still feel on my skin, the breath on my back and neck, the touch and the sounds of sleeping this close... Nothing in front of this new addition to my score of moments that came without thinking straight or at least, without the intention of defining at all... just living, adding and living.

I struggle with them, as I stare at this room of collections, but my figure seems to know better than what my mind tries hard to understand... I must surrender to them, and assume the fact that this is it and nothing more, this is what I create and what fills my world. These moments, these souls, these stories I love to describe in my head and in these writings... like this last lovely idea of belonging to a body and beautiful soul.

I've walked a few miles, and I've drawn a few pictures... as any other scores I own... Tonight I surrender to this one in particular, because I know there's no other way to go to, and no other perspective I'd like to live through.

P.S.: do yourself a favor, and just listen...






Lyrics by Coldplay

Smoke is rising from the houses
People burying their dead
I ask somebody what the time is
But time doesn't matter to them yet

People talking without speaking
Trying to take what they can get
I ask you if you remember
Prospekt, how could I forget?

Drums, here it comes
don't you wish that life can be as simple
As fish swimming round in a barrel?
When you've got the gun

Oh when I run, here it comes
We're just two little figures in a soup bowl
Trying to get to any kind of control
But I wasn't one

Now here I lie on my own in a separate sky
Here I lie on my own in a separate sky
I don't wanna die on my own here tonight
But here I lie on my own in a separate sky
Read On

Can't

0 voices


As cold as my feet get, the brain starts to ache:
There's nothing unconnected in my soul,
and what runs through my veins can easily reflect my status.

But I can't do so many other things.
I can't turn water into wine, and there's just a few things I can write.
Tools that I'm still missing, and powers that silently emerge from my fingers...
... you might rather loosing me instead.

Not enough is the rule, and for deep waters my anxiety grows
gazing through the clearness of your wishes,
because my dear
we can all read our lies as long as we persue honesty.

I can always stay in the same mode
Splashing memories on a screen, like if white was my true companion.
My legs sinked in this water, by choice
and now there's dirt that I must clean.

I can't and I won't
But I still wish I could
For a situation that no one dares to risk, one that contains me
For squares to mold and turn into perfect circles,
because my comfort lays on what I can't adjust,
your version of us.

Lyrics by Metric

All the gold and the guns in the world
Couldn't get you off
All the gold and the guns and the girls
Couldn't get you off
All the boys, All the choices in the world

I remember when we we're gambling to win
Everybody else said better luck next time
I don't wanna bend, Let the bad girls bend
I just wanna be your friend
Is it ever gonna be enough

All the lace and the skin in the shop
Couldn't get you off
All the toys and the tools in the box
Couldn't get you off
All the noise, all the voices never stop

I remember when we we're gambling to win
Everybody else said better luck next time
I don't wanna bend, Let the bad girls bend
I just wanna be your friend
Why you giving me a hard time?

I remember when we we're gambling to win
Everybody else said ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

More and more and more and more...
Read On

Balloon Seller

0 voices


"don't you have black balloons?" she asked the seller.

But he would just sell these colors, so for that second the sadness of not having what she needed, embraced his expression.

"then I'll take the blue balloon" she thought to herself while standing in front of him.


He reached for the balloon, as she waited... "you can get this, but you know you don't want it"


As if he knew, that as moments, balloons had expiration dates.


"you see... -she replied- I just wanted to hold it for a while, even when I know the balloon doesn't actually feel a thing"


"That's it, now you got it... you feel, only you feel. Because for what you're looking for, you must stop seeking for balloons, they just won't provide" he said before leaving.
Read On