4:30

I stretch myself and try to feel how my muscles move
Movements I think would give me an answer to this sensation
like if my body held the truth to what my mind is trying to avoid.

I see you sitting across this room, staring at me and waiting for words to come out
but I just don't know what I want to say,
for the first time after planning every sound to express to you,
I am silent, not by choice.

There isn't a thing I haven't already given you,
whether I chose to or not,
and it's hurting me, the lack of power is hurting me
And this pain is shaping me, in a good way.

I've been through the worst with your love,
so there isn't anything that scares me about you breaking my heart again.
I welcome everything you offer, your fears and your doubts too.

But there's one thing I can't get myself to agree on,
and is the see saw of a story that will never be us.
Because we aren't who we were with other people,
or people who made decisions that caused pain.

We are two crystal clear hearts that can't help but embrace each other,
even when I stand here, as helpless as ever.

Here is what I promise,
I will never ramble around the way I feel,
I will always use one word, and you won't have to ask
I will not give you crap about your feelings
because I don't pretend to own them, my life can move on without them.

And last, I will pop this balloon
A balloon that plays with my sanity when I think of us and whatever we're becoming.
No games.
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