2 lines-Thought: Eager

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...to create colorful and intense shapes with you
to feel like you are worth it
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I Could Easily

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I could easily fill this wall with red paint, cut some pieces of shiny sparkly paper and paste it all over, making some kind of frame to then fill with silly pictures.

I could easily throw away my clothes, and buy hundreds of green outfits to make some kind of statement of how I wish I could feel every day, green.

I could easily cut my hair and make some kind of weird master piece for someone who might worship the lenght of things, like hair... Cut it because of the release or just because I actually can.

Easily, with no hesitation, like changing channels and moving pillows around, things that are done with no big preparation and for no huge purpose. A way of spending time that I wish could be my way of spending my life.

But instead, satisfaction gets frustrated by planning and manipulating, for so many of us that are so afraid of other people's actions and intentions... Are we all up to hurt? Or just try to be free? And about me... I'm just doing my best to love each and every one of my motives.

I could easily act with no previous agenda or possible consequences, thinking that if it makes me happy then there's nothing wrong in it... and when I do, when easily comes this easy, the world shows me how not-ready it is, for me and my actions... for me and my easy and loving way to live.

Lyrics by Depeche Mode

Put it on
And don't say a word
Put it on
The one that I prefer
Put it on
And stand before my eyes
Put it on
Please don't question why

Can you believe
Something so simple
Something so trivial
Makes me a happy man
Can't you understand
Say you believe
Just how easy
It is to please me

Because when you learn
You'll know what makes the world turn

Put it on
I can feel so much
Put it on
I don't need to touch
Put it on
Here before my eyes
Put it on
Because you realise
And you believe

Something so worthless
Serves a purpose
It makes me a happy man
Can't you understand
Say you believe
Just how easy
It is to please me

Because when you learn
You'll know what makes the world turn
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0 voices

I guess that if you could unwrap me you might think the answer would just jump right in front of you, but let me tell you this, it won't. Not because it's hidden deeper than what it seems, it's juts because what I'm telling you, is exactly what it is.

There are no more ways to prove to you why this is what it is, but letting you choose and giving you time, time that surely I know how to give, but knowing that this time the only difference is that I'm the one to blame, and I ran out of options to make things right.

I'm covered in colors, all the time, but you can see through them, you've always been able to, you just wouldn't do it. Underneath these colors there's just me in a different but still real essence, the same you met and the same you still care about.

All that's left is this present, a very distant and hurting one, one that I can't figure out or fix... Never before my hands felt this tied with you. So all I have are these words, words that you know are real, but you're still not sure if believing in them is your best way to go.

Lyrics by MCS

Let's get fucked up and die..
I'm speaking figuratively, of course..
Like the last time that I committed suicide.. social suicide..
Yeah, so I'm already dead on the inside,
But I can still pretend with my memories and photographs,
I have learned to love the lie.

I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent.
I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense.. yeah
Let me in, let me in to the club, cuz I wanna belong,
And I need to get strong, and if memory serves,
I'm addicted to words and they're useless.

(In this department)
Let's get fucked up and die..
I'm riding hard on the last legs of every lie,
And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode,
I'm about to explode.
I'm a mess, I'm a wreck.
I am perfect, and I have learned to accept all my problems and short comings,
Cause I am so visceral, yet deeply inept.

I want to thank you for being a part of my forget-me-nots and marigolds..
And all the things that don't get old..
Is it legal to do this? I surely don't know.
It's the only way I have learned to express myself through other peoples' descriptions of life..
I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless...

(In this department)
Let's get fucked up and die.
For the last time with feeling
we'll try not to smile
As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nights
That still shock and surprise.
I believe that I can, overcome this and beat everything in the end
But I choose to abuse for the time being,
maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die.

Sister soldier
You’ve been such a positive influence on my mental frame
If I could ever repay you,
I would, but I'm hard up for cash
And my memory lacks initiative.

God damn the liquor store's closed,
we were so close to scoring
it hurts, it destroys 'til it kills..
I am tired and hungry and totally useless.
(In this department)
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0 voices

There must be a reason why we are so dragged to things we're leaving behind, I mean, if it's only logical, then why is it so addictive to stare?

So much passion and eager to go back
So wrong than it makes it so desirable
So easy and reachable

Everything that makes any sense and gives some perspective, tell us that there's no good back there, but we just wanna walk back and dig... crawl back and feel.

So much energy and hunger
So negative than it makes it so ideal
So tasty and divine

I give myself permission, knowing that I'll be punished in the morning, just to touch and feel what's right there, behind my foot steps... Just to remind myself of what I'm leaving behind, and how much love I feel for the wrong path.
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According To Whim

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I'm sure I'll be the one to blame after rasing all this selfishness for my own... And why is it so wrong to have this kind of perspective? So raw and simple and with no hidden agenda whatsoever, just the seeking of something I want for a tiny little moment.

I've had enough time and used enough ways to explain the situation, but sadly we've had bad luck finding the proper path, because of course not everyone would share the same idea, or would like the same kind of treat, but we can only know after trying, there are no mean intentions behind it.

Maybe we just can't have it so easily, maybe we must risk and sacrifice in order to obtain, but is it so bad to hide behind this solution? Yes, I'm aware, I'm hiding, but I know.. so then again, is it so bad?

I'm sure this is just a stage, I'm sure it will transform into a different (and maybe selfish as well) pattern, but in the mean time I will seek for it, not believing in the risking and sacrificing. As simple as reaching out and grabbing what we both want, so I'll be good at that for a while.

P.S.: ... yep, pretty sarcastic lyrics. It is possible, I still believe in that.

Lyrics by John Mayer

Now that we are over
As the loving kind
We'll be dreaming ways
To keep the good alive

Only when we want is not
A compromise
I'd be pouring tears
Into your drying eyes

Friends, lovers, or nothing
There can only be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
There'll never be an in-between
So give it up

You whisper "Come on over"
Cause you're two drinks in
But in the morning I will say
Good-bye again

Think we'll never fall into
The jealous game
The streets will flood
With blood of those who felt the same

Friends, lovers, or nothing
There can only be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
There'll never be an in-between
So give it up
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