Calendar Draw

Let me borrow your fancy new watch, and I will let you in on something secret.
Let me allow your hands on my hair as if I missed it somehow, and I will marinate my heart without hesitation.
Let me open my risk taking bag, and allow for these bugs to fly out of it, then you might get yourself filled with their glow.
Let me just provide you with one of those secret smiles from across the room, and I will deliver myself on a golden platter.

How long could I set this game to last?
And how many times do we need to step back on the Go spot?
Could we just embrace our safe and empty plans?
Or could we just have some fun instead?

Let me draw on your calendar, and I will show you colors you've desired for so long.
Let me stand on your knees wearing our favorite shade of black, and I will have these bats run around your head.
Let me play these bright sounds for you, and I will show you how cranky has nothing to gain from us.
Let us fall of your bed, and create divine wine stains, and they might just show us a glimpse of joy we would eventually touch.
Read On

Safe, Sane

There's always a moment, it's bittersweet and intense
Feels heavy and warm
Like a strong hug by those desired arms
Like the smell of his skin on the empty pillow next to me

This moment of wanting to explode happens often
But it never belongs to me
Just like the sensations and the burning thoughts
This moment thinks for itself, and the danger lays on its power.

I usually become aware of the holding, and how I try to keep it quiet
But more often than I would like to admit, I set it free
And forget about the damage it might do on its way to freedom.

That lack of awareness I pretend to have to avoid the control of it,
Because without knowing, you show me light and your eyes are calling
Lights that want these rotten words.
It's a big fat lie that dances around my evil but sincere smile as I say the words...
... I miss you today.

If only I didn't know about the true nature of this moment,
If only I could pretend the lights are blinding me as I say this to you
And if only I could remain innocent after lighting a small spark in you...
Then I would keep us safe, sane.

There's always a moment, and for the most part I always feel like letting go of it
But the truth is that the selfishness that feeds it, also eats me
And I can't but expose my weapons hoping for the victims to be prepared,
I want you to ignore me, yet I don't.
Read On