Me and her, my inner truth
Happy 2010

Oh penny
it's aboout to begin
so write do it on your wrist and dig in
cold cold chicago
go-go dance out the door
before your party gets bored and ignores you
it's getting harder now to move all your dreams
and all the things that you need wave as they leave
oh penny
makes a mess of this man
if there's a simpler plan than please speak
cause we're in trouble now
our underground
we're in trouble now
and i don't believe you

oh penny
will you cease to exist
without the faintest of fists
the amuse me
i got a honey
in the sun of CA
and i am happy to say that it's working
we've been sailing thorugh unthinkable kinks
but now i think it will sink
if i'm staying
oh penny
you put me through hell
and i've got nothing to sell
that will save you

past is the laughable and
hardly passable as background
artist's apartment will be looted and hollowed in the now
so overmedicate in any state
ain't it great
certain fate
and my dear old sharona
keeps em on the floor and wanting more
oh penny
we're about to dig in
so won't you find me a friend and give in
oh penny
will the fun never end
or will it ever begin without you

if we could just swim and disappear

Se acumulan de formas organizadas o no, algunas veces llevan cierto tipo de clasificación y es increíble lo mucho que nuestra personalidad se refleja en esa visión de objetos acumulados. Variedades de intereses y gustos bordean dicha materia involucrando esencias tan propias.

Colecciones que se mantienen y se aman, se protegen contra cualquier mal y se llevan gran parte de nuestras energías. Porque ponemos nuestra alma en darle vida a esos objetos que coleccionamos. Un sentido de pertenencia y expresión interna sobre lo que nos dice nuestra colección... Porque nos habla, nos canta, nos hace saber que también nos siente.

Y es que el mirar y observar algo propio, algo que mantenemos genera cierto estímulo interno, una sensación invisible pero energizante... admiramos aquello que logramos incluir a nuestras diferentes casillas. Agregamos, admiramos, sentimos... Porque las colecciones están destinadas a expandirse, expando esta materia, esta idea y esta propuesta.

Colecciono objetos, pensamientos y momentos, organizados por una variable mente que sólo conoce de niveles inferiores de razones o entendimientos... Vengo a admirar mi colección, aquello y aquellos que forman parte de tal espacio físico, en esta dimensión de colores que adoro no comprender.

Lyrics by Soda Stereo 

No hay modo, no hay punto exacto.
te doy todo, y siempre guardo algo.
si estás oculta cómo sabré quién eres.
me amas a oscuras, duermes envuelta en redes.
Signos, mi parte insegura.
bajo una luna hostil, signos.
Mar de fondo, no caeré en la trampa.
llámame pronto, acertijos bajo el agua.
si algo cedes, calmaré tu histeria.
con los dientes rasgaré tus medias.
Signos... uniendo fisuras,
figuras sin definir, signos...

It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as was your plan
But when my loneliness is through, I'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When I was your lover
No one else would do
If I'm forced to find another, I hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now I'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do somethings you wouldn't let me do
Oh I'm gonna find another you

Salían de uno en uno, a mi parecer la entrevista había finalizado y le tocaría al último grupo entrar, las ansias eran diversas aún cuando estaba segura de lo que se vendría.

Marcos de tiempo que parecen desvanecerse y separar la realidad en antes de una mirada y despues de ella, me levanté para acercarme a la puerta y ser la primera persona en entrar cuando él torpemente dijo "no big deal miss"

Como si el tiempo se burlase de quienes razonamos sobre él, deteniéndose para resaltar aquel acto... Existió una sensación extraña que recorrió mi cabeza mientras la mirada terminaba de confirmarme aquel encuentro.

Fue unos años antes, cuando aquella visita pasó al record de sus historias y cierto personaje hizo de las suyas al revelar ansias y deseos de exploración que tanta mala fama poseen. Su nombre hizo eco en lo que muchas expectativas con origenes ocultos transformaron, horas acumuladas frente a aquella repetida situación con distinto protagonista.

Aún mi cuerpo se encontraba paralizado ante tal muestra del universo, siendo mis ojos testigos de una variación a estas rutinas emocionales... mientras se alejaba volteó ligeramente a mirarme de nuevo, expresando lo que parecía ser una sonrisa complice de esta idea tan particular: sólo existe el presente en esta realidad nuestra.

Letras de Soda Stereo

Somos complices los dos
al menos se que huyo porque amo
necesito distension
estar asi despierto
es un delirio de condenados
Como un efecto residual
yo siempre tomare el desvio
tus ojos nunca mentiran
pero ese ruido blanco
es una alarma en mis oidos
No seas tan cruel
no busques mas pretextos
no seas tan cruel
siempre seremos profugos los dos
No tenemos donde ir
somos como un area desvastada
carreteras sin sentido
religiones sin motivo
como podremos sobrevivir
No seas tan cruel
no busques mas pretextos
no seas tan cruel
siempre seremos
siempre seremos profugos los dos
Ven
no seas tan cruel
no busques mas pretextos
no seas tan cruel
siempre seremos profugos
siempre seremos profugos

To the deep end
to the heartline holds,
straight jetterman holds
straight degenerate you can
little beaver trapped in medication
All strung out on novelty collapse it solves just try to comprehend
and leave the island of bitter beestings
severing and shattering free the self-infixing inbetween
taxilation walking up around you
guess whose on the waiting list
I'll let you in on something secret

I can disapear
any time I want to, time I feel you
shuffle through my skin
I am with you till the end

first you breathe out
than you have to breathe in
blast yourself repeatedly until it sticks until it sticks
so many eyelids carry on gidavern
festering interiors i'll have a breach in labors silouettes
My medication will medication
coursing through your inner space
I'm matergrate confused and counterfeit
kamakazi's sear the pun inside you
guess whose got it figured out
I'll let you in on someting secret

I can disappear
any time I want to, any time I feel you
shuffle through my skin
I am with you till the end
and I can decompose
when it suits me I accelerate
we get on all fours
I surrender to the scores

You'll never know how it feels
You'll never know how it feels
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?

I can disappear,
any time I want to, time I feel you
Shuffle through my skin
I am with you till the end
I can decompose
when it suits me I accelerated
we get on all fours
I surrender to the score

and I can disappear
any time I want to, any time I feel you
shuffle through my skin
I am with you till the end
I'm with you till the end.

As a unique routine you’re very much familiar with. For many different reasons that object seems to be important for you.

And you wonder… how is that a non-living item can make you feel like a child in front of his/her first Christmas present… a sensation that even when we grow up, we try to hold on to it, and fight who ever dares taking it away from us.

No one can really define what it is… it’s one unique status or emotion that we all share at one moment but still becomes something singular and special for each on… instead of using words, I smile.

…one smile that made you float for a couple of seconds.

…one smile that got you by surprise and the muscles on your face couldn’t help but to express that singular movement.

…one smile that you give to an object that can’t really see it, feel it or touch it.

…one smile that you wish could go through the glass and spread its energy to that other soul that has decided to join you in this amazingly surprising frame of time.

I smile behind the screen and might find myself giving away more and more smiles, and if reasons I seek for, all there will be is a single soul smiling back to a different screen.

Simple lines and a wonderful tool some people seem to have, that can make me feel different and connected to them… they use that tool and make me smile like this.

'Cause I could be caught in one surreal moment or just trying to figure out where his signals came from… but what’s for sure is that tonight, he’ll join me in the scary but joyful action of smiling behind a screen.

No picture for this entry, but one special song to sing along...

This same spot I've seen before
I walked right by it, but took too much time thinking
if I should stop or not
then I walked away, and smiled about it
Always the same time.. 9:24 pm

Some more days passed by
I found myself walking near the spot once more
and it didn't surprise me to find myself
waiting to stay and check it out

One day I stayed, it was 9:24 pm
I stood there and watched people walk by me
talk right next to me
I heard you and I saw you
fixing this energy I felt standing here
then I walked away again.

Months went by and I kept on crossing myself with the spot
wondering why on earth my feet keep on guiding me
thinking about what there is to offer in here
knowing that I could stay just for too long
understanding that oh well.. it is you who I wait for

So now I walk by it,
and little notes I leave for you
I want to join you in the magic
but everything I know tells me not to.
Your soul is new to me, but the shadow not so much

Here I'll stand, whenever is 9:24 pm
so make a plan.

Meeting you in one alone Friday night
talking about that old love
fading crushes and making sure we're not copying that song
although yes, we're tierd of being alone

Search for me, and find one answer
one smile and one unique understanding
I'll be writing our love song, for no one
but as together as we suffer
one simple smile can surprise us
and we'll be golden for a couple of seconds

la la la
node your head with this song
and whisper that hidden idea
I won't hear it
and your secret will stay safe for more time

Hurry and be my company for a colorful frame of time
you're so good for me in this moment
for this time of my universe
and for a reaction in a universe
that seems to keep us connected

Sign in and we'll keep on figuring this out
for a moment that seems to eat other people alive
we smile to each other
we might be staying golden
in my own different dimension
you'll be safe from me.

I'll know it, when I see you
and your heart is not jumping right now,
we'll wait for our hearts to jump together for them.

Would you let me walk down your street?
Would you sell me a bit of your time?
Amazing glitter I own and for some hours I could exchange them.

Would you leave your universe for a while?
And join me in this golden balloon that can only hold us before dawn.

Would you bring your music with you?
These notes of mine can make me smile
There's one bag of minutes before the guard comes back.

Swim in a naked space and some sounds to cheat time
Clocks fell in love with our laugh.

Would you think about this dream before he wakes up?
From his body we took this energy,
these movements
and after is all gone...
your soul shall go back to that other universe.

Would you let me say good bye once more?
Would you remind me about this moment?
We shall meet again soon.

Your perspective will always be the same, whether you make changes in your steps or not, the vision provided will remain, something different will always be needed.

You could take a moment of your day and think of your life as kind, special, regular or that rush could surprise you on an early morning, and you might wonder if this is all there should be for you, well then.. you can always tell yourself that some things could be different, as if different would be relative to happiness.. is different always good?

We will always need/want more, new ideas and ways to reach out, new opinions and getaways for illusions to become real. The control of time and other people's effect in our lives, we will always need/want more from them, from us. But after getting it you'll end up in that same place, gathering memories and fantasies of "what if"...

But while you're sneaking around, you might miss the greatest answer for this deal there is... Surprise yourself by knowing that without knowing things can become extraordinary, in a matter of time, shapes and shades. Only surprises can change your ordinary road into an extraordinary world. But we can really screw it up...

If you seek, the surprise won't show up
If you force change, the surprise won't help
If you wait, the surprise will laugh

Let yourself be surprised by this universe and extraordinary your day will be.
Ordinary still?

Lyrics by Natalie Merchant

When I was just a little girl my mamma said to me,
"beware of the devil my child
In the dark rocky places he'll keep
Beware of the devil my child
Beware of his charming ways
You'll fall under an evil spell
Just looking at his beautiful face
You gotta build yourself a levee deep inside"

"don't go walking by the riverside
Alone in the pale moonlight
He'll come up upon you girl
With no earthy body in sight
Come up upon you girl
And he'll whisper something sweet
Then take you where the waters rise
So high and run so deep."

"you gotta build yourself a levee deep inside
Gotta build yourself a levee deep inside
Build yourself a levee girl when the waters run high"

Now when I was just a little girl my mamma said to me,
"beware of the devil my child
But if by chance you should meet
Beware of his cold dark eyes full of bold and unholy deceit
He'll tempt you with a whirling pool of lies and promises
He'll deny or that he will never keep"

"you gotta build yourself a levee deep inside
Gotta build yourself a levee deep inside
Build yourself a levee girl when the waters run high"

And here I am once again, facing this ceiling
because I guess you were all waiting
there's a new face and soul sitting here with us
without knowing, my energy brought you here tonight and I don't seem to be surprised by it
So hey you...

Filling this room with terrible and bad ideas that make us laugh
'cause you're hanging up there and there's so much I can share with you
staring at each one of you and all these ideas you see in my eyes
oh no, disaster
it is why we're doing this, this way...
before you all wake up and feel weird
maybe you had a dream and wonder why
did I make you think about me?

Clicking clock and shining mirrors
for a moment we're all quiet and the silence takes us softly
and while that song plays underneath the energy
I thank you for coming during my sleep

It is 1:08 AM and the feeling is still great every night.

As if that rush could make your feet go faster and faster
light wind through your hair and directly to your neck,
fall down just for the time needed
with musical sadness and a cup of honey for dinner.

There are some orange squares indicating the way
but you won't make it unless you breathe in and lift your body
come back from that wonder come back from that hole.

When you went to that space you felt the energy and it was real
but as you fell you could smell the strawberrys and nothing felt so sick then
Look up and you will see no one
You might wait for a while during the fall
but he won't show up
and he might not understand this
maybe if you look down
Wonderfully waiting by that gray door...

It gets clear and light feels so warm on your face
you can almost smell the tangerines now.

And what happens after your mind has set up an idea?
Truth it is that the more certain, the more you glow

What happens after your actions respond to that awareness?
There is a world that won't stop throwing its effects on you

So what happens after you told them how you felt?
So they say, there are some that will fight back and some that will settle

What happens with that you've been hiding from your choices?
It looks back at you and you have no answer that seems to satisfy

And what happens when that other you seems to be gaining power?
You just wish for them not to know.

Saying hello to a fear that you thought was gone...

Rain no more the moments I've waited.
Rain no more for all the times I waited for you to wake up.
Rain no more for the times I thought things were meant to be like that
Rain no more for my perspective of all.

If I could make you disappear
If I could erase from this frame
If I had that magical power
If I cared enough for myself,

Rain no more in my heart
Rain no more for your experiments with me
Rain no more for the ones I push away
Rain no more for my body and its pain

If I could make you face your truth, and to me.

Some say that is not very healthy to relay your process of feeling better on someone new every time, and some others would agree with the first group’s opinion. And they might be right, but I can't avoid it, as they come they go, but I have them and they have me.

I guess that it just feels right to connect that story with another soul that has other stories, another kind of sand under their shoes, a different vision of what a good coffee can do to your brain. Or maybe why that song has no description and it is just wonderful at 3:27 am.

I also believe in the back and forth of words pushed by ideas that have their own will, they go and deliver what you’re still figuring out; or you could be more precautious and think about it many times before putting it all together, but for sure you can hardly wait for the returning sea.

Because who really cares besides you? And now that you think about it you can’t help feeling stupid, the answer is actually no one. So lean your head a little, play that song again and remember how good it feels like tonight, moments when you confirm what makes you smile these days, and the reason that got you connected, they only care for their space in their textbox… that daily interaction.

Lyrics by Duncan Sheik

Such an annoying conversation

I'm sorry but I'm tired of trying

To be some picture of compassion

...and anyway it sounds like I'm lying

...and yes I've heard the words has conspired

To steal away your god-given right

To a happy home and comfortable children

Next you'll sue them for abandoning you

So bite your tongue

You're not the only one

Who's been let down

Bite your tongue

Maybe it's good for you

To hit the ground

Oh, christ...it's gonna sound like I'm agreeing

With the most ultra-boring ideas

Of pops psychological western gurus

Who haven't gotten lucky in years

...and so you see I have no intention

Of giving you the easy way out

yes I'll smile as I burn the self-help section

Of my local bookstore

Blame the shapes and blame the angles

Blame it on your own dark planes

If you blame on something other...

The victim's somg remains...

Remains...

*So they say you're here to see me, and I thought you weren't brave enough... so speak up.

- I've made my decision, and I need you to make it real.

*Real can never be the word to describe my performance within your mind, if fantasy isn't what you're looking for, you must leave now.

- There's nothing real in the steps I take, or the situations I'm in.

*If fake ideas may fill your desire, then breathe with me while I steal your thoughts and leave my magic inside your head.

- Then if so, I will only seek for my nights to be long and clear... and all that I work for will turn into energy for my eyes to stay closed; your dust makes me fly.

*Breathe again and don't ever face the ground, for a tragic fall you must avoid. There's only magic and invisible air in this room, so make it yours with this power I provide.

- And if I get to realize that living the dream is better than reality...

*... then I'll grow in you as oxygen expanding in human's lungs... But awaking is beyond my power and dreams can never be this fantastic unless your mind is resting under my control.

- Then make that happen...

Lyrics by Kelly De Martino

There's always a first time for everything, and it becomes the cover of special albums you start collecting during your walk.

The first time your body felt like shaking in the presence of that other energy.
The first time you let someone else know what you really thought.
The first time you made your versions clear and felt good about it.
The first time you decided to be irresponsible and liked it.
The first time you heard that song.
The first time you felt like your skin was born after a touch.
The first time you waited for the tears to come but a different feeling surprised you.
The first time you realized you needed that control.
The first time you began counting times and dates.
The first time someone stole your kiss.
The first time you saw colors in everything.
The first time you made a mistake and couldn't forgive yourself.
The first time you made someone say that line and then blamed him for it.
The first time you thought about someone else while being with this other person.
The first time your heart felt different in a terrible way.
The first time your thoughts became dancing species.
The first time you felt that desire of holding a hand.
The first time you knew you could change realities for a future with less disappointments from his soul.

Just because I will never run out of them...

Lyrics by No Doubt

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Just as in a magical and twisted way I turn regular stuff about a day into a musical fantasy of a wonderful experience, maybe like falling into that hole of Alice…

Nothing to do with the main title of this, but as common for many as it is for me, bumping into others happens in a daily basis. Random people, people you might not wanna run into, people that you were expecting to see that day, people who in a subconscious level you put right in front of you just to see a reaction, and other simpler reasons… but there they are and so as you.

It gets colorful just for a second and it might be extended for a little longer, but the energy and electricity positive or negative that gets created, inspired me to write about it. You bump into someone, you say hi and that other soul answers back, there’s the interaction and then you both move on with what you were doing before that… maybe just walking.

But in your minds something might change, the screen turns into moments or ideas that come up reacting to that encounter and you travel in time and dimensions as big as your imagination could be. For a long time or for just a few minutes you were connected with that walking being that met you in an equal place and an equal time, surrounded by one unique universe before you move apart.. Just blank ideas or funny stories.

Because my head could be less intense and more boring but is not… And just because you have probably thought about this but never grew this much in you.

In the photo: Wal & Vivian

Lyrics by Hey Mercedes

so the soldiers soak up all the sun
and the company is continually struck dumb
now everyone wonders where we're from
while the level-headed are heading for their homes
way before they come
all i know is i'm never gonna go
the safe way home
so heres a clue for all you new boy destroyers
never ever think about granting us piece
but please relieve the clarity and forget them
before our loyal own start moaning like children
before their uniformed brethren
send them to heaven
all i know is im never gonna go
the safe way home
quality time with the unkind is better than being alone
it's all i know
why does every evening have to end this way
huddled in a bundle in a dark dark doorway
freezing please baby throw down some keys
let this kitten in
meow it's me
all i know is i'm never gonna go
the safe way home
quality time with the unkind is better than being alone
it's all i know
why does eveery evening have to end this way
why oh why does every evening have to end