I guess that it should be very easy to describe it, but as much as we know it, getting to know ourselves can be a difficult thing to do. And if you allow me to respond this, you'd know you already knew: we are too afraid of our own thoughts and the way we could function.

We are good doing some things, not so good with others and some we just try really hard to learn how to do them... of course, only if we put our hearts on it. But for that special task of knowing who we are, we tend to leave it for latter, at least I used to, a lot. The thing is, that for some weird reason, I knew what I could be facing if I ever decided to manipulate it, read it, see it, feel it... that deeper level where we all hide our basic material.

Below the surface, under what we show to other people, we have this ground and there we find all these particular ideas that are too honest to deal with, which is why (I believe) we rather stay away from it. But we all know, if you let yourself share my perspective, that's just pure lying. That deeper level is real, is right there and the road to get there can only become long and heavy as we blind ourselves from it.

Mine is not that dark anymore, I've brought some light to it, and have found myself enjoying while searching in this huge space, but also redefining something that I think, defines me besides everything else I do: I can't compromise myself in front of the world. I feel in a certain way, I think in a certain way, there are things I feel, enjoy and fear, I deal with ideas in a certain way, and most of all... I express and talk about how I feel. It's something that I've been fighting with for the past 10 years and suddenly just feels right to face it. I feel fine with this.

At the end, there's people that know this about me, and for those that have learnt how to deal with it, and care for me the way I am, I just smile. Because they have kept me real within this space, level or whatever words I use. I just am and function.

Searching for the lyrics, I heard a very special character saying this... it was just perfect:

"the thruth is i can't be with you like this
i mean i know i said that i could but i can't
i just can't compromise myself like that
i mean i'm an emotional person i feel things
and i need to be able to get upset and talk about how i'm feeling
i mean that's just... that's who i am and i can't change it
i don't want to

and the thing is you knew that
you knew it and you still persued me
because you want something with me
you are just not strong enough to have it
which in a way makes you a coward

and the saddest part is that
one day you're gonna wake up and you're gonna realize what you've missed
and it's gonna be too late"

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