Release


On one side we all want that protection, that company, that other element that truly fits the best way. On that side of the idea things can be colorful and pretty, going throw the experience of how two people can connect so many aspects of themselves... yeah, that side is ok.

We dig it, we feel it, and if you ask randomly they will tell you that alone is never better, but to find someone that belongs and makes us reach emotional and physical places new. That huge bag of first moments, first kisses, touches, smiles and eyes finding each other in a magical moment... yeah, it does feel good.

But there's always more than one side, and although usually they are a bit bitter and not as happy and shiny as this first side, they are profund and amazingly meaningful.

Ask the people around me and they will tell you it's me dealing with demons, but ask me and the answer will be much more empowering, contagious and so fake that believing it will feel just right.

The releasing side of everything we attach to, as I've said before, just because we can. But also because we wouldn't give away if we didn't know that there's a point at where the heart just can't take it anymore, and as stupid we all want to pretend, the decision of releasing feels good just because of that power.

As friends we wish we had that perfect solution to make others see when the moment of letting go has come, but from our ground it will only work after one mind-soul connection and the words: stop.

Call it process, call it pretending, call it healing... I dig it, I love it, and for me releasing has become the greatest game, just by pulling strings back and forth, knowing that actually the courage I need to completely let go, I don't have it and that I all that comforts me is the idea that until a certain point I do risk loosing them, before the weak side of me pulls them back.

I guess the string will brake at some point, or I will just get tired of this sensation and get curious about how it would feel actually releasing them... at the end, the three times I've done it came out right. Sadly enough I'm getting more and more attached to my loneliness, the single and only version aspect of me, a mind that within time, feels more and more sure about her beliefs... wrong or not, it's just a fact.

Lyrics by Carrie Underwood (the ones you might sing if you feel like following these ideas)

I should have known by the way you passed me by
There was something in your eyes and it wasn't right
I should have walked, but I never had the chance
Everything got out of hand and I let it slide

Now I only have myself to blame
For falling for your stupid games
I wish my life could be
The way it was before I saw your face

You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You had my heart, now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na, na

Now your photos don't have a picture frame
And I never say your name and I never will
And all your things, well I threw them in the trash
And I'm not even sad

Now you only have yourself to blame
For playing all those stupid games
You're always gonna be the same
And, oh no, you'll never change

You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You had my heart, now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na, na

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