Paper Boats



"Is it because we love each other... that we hurt each other?"

Half of me pretends there's no water, and the other half is struggling to let me know I am aware. But for as long as the water won't come up to my knees... I'll just won't interfere between my two halfs.

Because I do know what happens, I am the one that sets the alarm when something hits me, bothers me, hurts me and I don't do a thing about it. I am the one that lets them get with it most of the times... and I am the one that after cutting off some, hold myself to support and avoid the regret.

The water represents that division between what I know of myself and what people can see, it represents that awareness and that self-struggle I constant see happening with the things and people I'm dealing with. When I choose to be blind in front of things that cause me pain, the water levels up and my skin fears, but when I'm stronger than that hateful half the water stops, it holds...

...And I wonder where they taught them the hurting for loving skill, and how come I don't see it, feel it, or understanding it; because maybe my mistake has been the idea that love means just that, love. Is it too crazy to think that way? Do I honestly need to learn to love the lack of words and the role play for life? 

I am trying, very hard, and even if I'm not sure this is the right way to make what affects me to stop, I will continue, just to avoid sinking in this water. I'm not making more efforts into keeping things near me, people close to me, I just believe I can't play both roles and I actually shouldn't. So I'll just keep on making paper boats for each time I accomplish one state of mind and play with this sick awareness... 

Aware of what I lack, aware of what will float away and aware of the fact that some treats I just don't deserve, because if I did then I would admit it.

... and you know it.

Lyrics by Incubus

You saw me lost in treading water
I looked pathetic and
As helpless as a stinger
Without a bee
But underneath my presentation
Yeah
I knew the walls were coming down
And the stones that fell were
Aiming away from me
Hey what would it mean to you?
To know that it'll
Come back around again
Hey whatever it means to you
Know that everything
Moves in circles

I saw you standing in
My headlights
Blink blink blink
I thought I'd run you down
For the weight you left on me
instead I pushed rewind
Reversed and drove away
And see you
Disappear in my rearview
Brought to me the word
Reciprocity

Hey what would it mean to you?
To know that it'll
Come back around again
Hey whatever it means to you
Know that everything
Moves in circles

Round and round we go
We could know
It'd end so well
We fall on and we fall off
Existential carousel
Spin

0 voices:

Post a Comment