Sit Here And Feel This It's pretty selfish to think about this, what I'm thinking right now... but I guess I can't really help it... and what's worst is that it's just an excuse to bitch for a while about stuff in my life.I'm feeling through other people, people near me and I can't help thinking about what the universe has brought to my life and how clear things have been. Some situations came just because others came out that way, meaning that everything is just the result of other situations... the universe and the weird way it works. But even when I'm a truly believer, I stand here tonight complaining about it. I give myself the liberty to say that if things were suppose to happen in a certain way, they should have... and I base my position in the consecuences that came after that "not happening" deal. For two years I've lived so many different things that although I enjoyed them all, tonight I wish they never really happened. If the universe wouldn't have change our positions and our perspectives, things would be so different, and even though I know this way is better for me, and there was no chance I would be happy following that old road... I know that at least I wouldn't be suffering all these other and new situations... Maybe it's just easier to wish it wasn't real. After you left, other feelings and sensations came to me and I wasn't ready to experiment that... I blame you for it, and for all that I've had lived this time... I wasn't ready and tonight I wish things were different, knowing that this position is as coward as possible. But I don't care, because of you and your decisions, I'm facing hard times and the fact that I'm feeling things that I shouldn't be feeling. Things were suppose to go in one direction, and since you and the universe put me in this other hall, I can't help but bitching about it... I hate the falling in love process and I hate the fact that I have to go through that all over again. It's not fair. I guess that it comes down to 20 min, and after all these words are written I'll go back to my crappy situation where my emotions and feelings need to fight against my reality just because it's not you anymore. As much as a student hates presenting themselves to the rest of the class, I hate that I'm not in that room with you anymore and I have to deal with all this new stuff... Photo by: Vivian Alvarez Lyrics by Trapt You don't ever ask me why you don't read the signs you give me way too many reasons for me to wanna get high Standing tall between my four walls and I'm about to fall so look into me eyes and i say it all [bridge] I am lost, I am lost so crucify me on your cross whats the cost, whats the cost to erase what I've been taught Get off my back dont attack So what if I fell off the tracks your master plan, don't understand [chorus] I'd rather live in my own Wasteland I'm already gonne I'm already gonne My own wasteland I don't belong I don't belong My own wasteland Scream at me until I shut down Don't hear a sound can only take so many cheap shots down on the ground I gotta go my own way this time leave you behind said it all but not enough for your simple mind [bridge] [chorus] You tell me what you want from me you never ask me what i need just let me go just set me free and turn these nightmares into dreams [bridge] I'd rather live in my own Wasteland And I wont waste another day it doesn't matter what we say (my own wasteland) your memories age and with new age I'd rather die in my own Wasteland I'm already gonne I'm already gonne My own wasteland I don't belong I don't belong My own wasteland I'm already gonne I'm already gonne My own wasteland I don't belong I don't belong My own wasteland Castles In The Sky Piensa cuando te despiertas en las mañanas... Esos rastros inminentes de crudos e inocentes reflejos. Pensamientos limpios. Piensa cuando movilizas tu mente para dar órdenes a tu cuerpo, acciones guiadas por naturales impulsos que nacen y te acompañan... Eres lo que piensas, eres lo que haces. Piensa en las ideas y las preguntas, de donde parecen provenir llamados prohibidos de nuevas emociones, alejadas de estructurados comportamientos. Somos libres. Piensa en quienes esperan verte este día, quienes dependen de tus acciones y a quienes tu mismo proporcionarás destellos de motivación, por tan solo ser parte de su rutina tan necesitada. Somos la enfermedad y también la cura. Más alla de toda esta realidad, hacia extremas dimensiones laterales.. Construimos espacios nuestros que de alguna forma enlazan los días uno a uno y nos mantienen activos... Existe un cielo horizontal que se vive a diario.. Piensa en aquello que elevas y mantienes arriba, con extremo cuidado y conservándose en esencia... Pero que a medida que evoluciona el tiempo, las realidades se separan.. Aquel cielo nunca estará bajo nuestros pies, manteniéndolos firmes. No un cielo alto e irreal, pero si un cielo racional hecho de piel, sensaciones y energías... Impulsos, aromas y suspiros. We build castles in the sky Dedicado a mi hermana en su cumpleaños. In the Photo: Cristy Lyrics by Ian Van Dahl Do you ever question your life? Do you ever wonder why? Do you ever see in your dreams.. all the castles in the sky. Oh, tell me why... do we build castles in the sky. Oh, tell me why... all the castles way up high. Please tell me why do we build castles in the sky. Oh, tell me why... all the castles way up high. Self-directed Life Es grande el poder que se sostiene dentro de las pequeñas decisiones tomadas. No necesariamente con respecto a asuntos de gran importancia, sino también cualquier tipo de actitud que se adquiere por motivos nuestros, y propios de un ser pensante que se supone somos.Somos tan conscientes de todo, tan conscientes que somos capaces de engañarnos a nosotros mismos creándonos dudas, otorgándonos opciones y luego eligiendo respuestas necesarias, todo dentro de un proceso de total comprensión pero que, al ser acciones reales tomadas por nosotros mismos, somos capaces de escudarlas detras de alguna verdad falsa para evitar ciertas cosas con las que nah.. no queremos tener que lidiar aún. No hay forma lógica de tomar desiciones basándose en el futuro, ya que es un tiempo que aún no existe, sino que se debería utilizar la información del presente (que parece poca muchas veces) para saber entender realmente lo que deseamos. El asunto está que si se vive de esa forma, es difícil guiarnos a través de proyecciones, es decir la forma en la cual nos vemos de aqui a cierto tiempo. Porque si suena tan organizado el planificarse hacia un tiempo que aún no llega, por todo eso de preparar y preveer... no estoy utilizando realmente la información del presente y si es asi, no estoy realmente viviendo mi tiempo real. Cierto? Lo sabemos y aún así lo hacemos... como actores dentro de una novela que seguimos nuestros propios guiones escritos día a día por nuestra mano. Se obtiene exactamente lo que se busca, aún y cuando es tan fácil encontrar elementos que culpar. Oh give me some light. Photo by Vivian Alvarez Lyrics by The Verve I sit and wonder, I often wonder I sit and wonder about the things she does I sit and wonder, I often wonder, Ive been waiting for this moment to come And shes the teacher and im the pupil but i aint learning anything at all, Now im falling into the black hole and i can barely feel the sun Yeah i sit and wonder, I fall to pieces Ive been waiting for her to come A bed of roses, her cheeks like peaches, Yeah i aint going to wait no more, Give me some light, give the light, yeah give me some light, give me some light Well writes a passage, we are mistaken yeah some are going to break into stone, the door is open and i am reaching, yeah it looks like a prodical son Yeah give me some light, give the light, yeah give me some light, give me some light. God give me the light, give me the light, yeah give me some light, give me some light Ive been there doing it to my mind lord Something is going on inside my head lord, Something is going on inside my head lord, Raw Visions Commitment Does that word really represent a lot? Or is it just the fame that has gained? Let's define it (Wikipedia): Commitment means to duty or pledge to something or someone, and can refer to: • Personal commitment, interaction dominated by obligations. These obligations may be mutual, or self-imposed, or explicitly stated, or may not. Many words that show me where the term gets so scary: duty, dominated, obligations.. I guess that to give a concept, those words need to be used, but from my point of view (or at least the point of view I'm trying to give here) is the following: People has created a monster out of this definition because of the reactions that get created after making a certain commitment. They tend to see the biggest picture before seeing the very small rut of this action: I make commitments all the time, and that just means the beginning and honest start of an emotional connection. But I guess that this already represents a big deal for some... I guess that in my case I easily make these commitments because I'm able to identify where I'll find good connections, and once I find them I can't stop sharing myself to them... But what's the cost of all this I give and allow others to take? What's the purpose of these connections?... The commitment begins the moment that our feelings get exposed, even when sometimes we still don't know what they mean... Some could already be in a relationship and still have made this commitment with anyone just because they have shown their emotions and sensations to the other person, connecting to them... I have made a couple of commitments as well just for being so open with how and what I feel.. But what have I put on the table for them to grab? Where's the deal between letting people know about feelings and take actions based on them..? Am I compromising myself? I think I'm paranoid. This might ring your bell, and yours, and yours... In the photo: eLla Lyrics by: Garbage You can look, but you can't touch I don't think I like you much Heaven knows what a girl can do Heaven knows what you've got to prove I think I'm paranoid And complicated I think I'm paranoid Manipulated Bend me Break me Anyway you need me All I want is you Bend me Break me Breaking down is easy All I want is you I fall down just to give you a thrill Prop me up with another pill If I should fail, if I should fold I nailed my faith to the sticking pole I think I'm paranoid Manipulated I think I'm paranoid Too complicated Bend me Break me Anyway you need me All I want is you Bend me Break me Breaking down is easy All I want is you I think I'm paranoid I think I'm paranoid Bend me Break me Anyway you need me All I want is you Bend me Break me Breaking down is easy All I want is you Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me Maim me, tame me, you can never change me Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me Bend me Break me Anyway you need me As long as I want you baby it's alright Dual Once I had a dream, then a thought and then dream again... it was constant and it's been coming every once in a while. When it does, all my reality changes and everything is clear to me and no one else. ~There's a sense of reality just for you and me~ Closing boxes and moving on has become my specialty, and I've been trying to understand why is that even when that box in particular has been closed already, some holes get created and a certain kind of light comes right to me... as for today, when that dream/thought came to me again I could see it clearly. ~We are still not ready~ There're no boxes to close anymore, 'cause it's been a long time since we were in that place and where we are now is not even close to what we knew before, this time and this place is as peaceful and pure as we never understood before... It's just hard to get used to this kind of well-being. ~We don't need to prove anything else, anymore~ We'll always come around each other, we just need to find that trigger that will keep this realness within our visions for good. You're not ready to let me go and I'm not ready to live a life without you. I had a dream where you died and all I knew this morning is that we are so far from each other as we want us to be. ~No more glass to brake, no more ideas to show~ I represent two different versions for you, one is dead and the other one is waiting for you to understand what is it that you want. All your other versions I once loved are in that box, I'm just trying to hold on to the only one that won't hurt me ever again. Is now the time to find out if these versions of you and me are strong enough to live in an era that no longer holds that greatest love as an ideal, and are ready to love again. ~I'm still here~ In the photo: Wal Taken by: Vivian Alvarez Lyrics by The Cranberries I'm not going out tonight 'cos I don't want to go I am staying at home tonight 'cos I don't want to know You revealed a world to me and I would never be Dwelling in such happiness, your gift on purity Eh-ee-oh, eh-ee-oh, eh-ee,oh, eh-ee-oh X 2 Aahh, you and me it will always be You and me Forever be, Eternally it will always be You and me Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor I don't pay attention to the ones who never cared Find your onw direction 'cos there's sweetness in the air You will be the world to me and I will always be Dwelling in this happiness, your gift of purity Eh-ee-oh, eh-ee-oh, eh-ee,oh, eh-ee-oh X 2 Aahh, you and me it will always be You and me Forever be, Eternally it Will always be You and me Always be You and me Forever be, Eternally It will always be You and me Forever be, Eternally Denial, Revisited Every single day we all have little "wake up"s during our routines. Could be very significant or just simple, but it happens and some people know how to identify them as special signals the universe tries to throw at us. To keep this post as real as it can, I'll give my example from yesterday: while writing a list using a pen tied to a folder by a string, I realized that every 3 words I'd write, the pen would turn one time. By the end of the note I was writing, I realized that the pen was all rolled-up by the string, and that was my "wake up" for that Wednesday. What's my point with all this? Not to tell you all about these very special moments, 'cause I'd be writing about something you already know. My point with this is to analize how those "experiences" function; as for me everything should have a meaning, and if it not, then we'll write one for it. Turining and rolling the pen while writing is not only my thing, but it defines me... Also connecting me to many others that might have this "things" as well. For me, the thought from that "wake up" moment was: "this thing I do when I write defines me, what if I lose that?" So instead of writing more and more sentences about all I might think and question about the universe and its processes, I'll make it as simply as it can get in this box: What If? (Just Me) - What if I didn't like chocolate? - What if I was always agree with things? - What if I was less analytic? - What if I didn't have my own way to find answers? - What if I didn't believe in control? - What if I wasn't sure about what I want? - What if I accepted all their ideas? - What if I decided to fit a category? - What if I stopped being just for living? The answers seemed easy for me, and then they all said... Photo: Ruth :) Lyrics by The Offsprings So here we go Having the same old fight again So there she goes Same old game that never ends If I could say All the right words I know I could make you stay If I could say all the right words Things would work out alright And if you go I won't believe That it's forever And you can go I'll never leave 'Cause it's not over Replay last night Talking it out don't make it right I know she's tried, my whole world is her and all we've got now And if you go I won't believe That it's forever I won't let go Even if she says that it's over I know it'll be Different this time If you'd just stay And when we wrote this story How did it end? It was you and me for all our lives Come on don't say it We'll try again And if I'd just hold you We could last But she stands softly Tears down her face Hitting me, oh God This is the end And I'm waiting for you But there's nothing more now i can do How did you know How did you know How did you know Finally The fish in a blog
|||This one is for the a new box
I've spent a long time trying to define what is that we're suppose to call "ourselves". How is that some people say they don't know who they are, or that maybe they're on their way to find out that magic answer. What is that we are suppose to be? Is it what we do? What we want? what we like? What we love? Or is it the whole thing in a box? (can't help it) I've spent a long time trying to figure this out, instead of defining that for myself. But I guess that as I'd say it now: I think I always knew, sometimes I'd lost it then find it back, but it never really meant an issue. But there was something that always kept me wondering, 'cause I couldn't really understand why I had so much trouble expressing myself in first dimensions, why if I felt so determined in a way, I just couldn't put it in words for others to hear me the way I wanted. I needed to find a solution, so I started writing... The power that came within my writing represented an energy that didn't fill my person and others would see me, I guess I was still afraid of what they would think of me sharing all my thoughts. So this strange person got created, someone who felt like me but was able to accomplish all that I couldn't because of fear. She could write whatever and just throw it to the world, with such motivation and awareness. I would let her express my ideas in this new space. I didn't need to force myself to do it, for she could do it for me. As since then, she has become this representation of what my reality offers and how my emotions and thoughts have a life on their own. She is free to swim and scream. Someone asked me once why I would write through her... and the answer lays on how much control I've gained with this magnificent tool. I'll never keep anything for myself anymore, as for Annie will provide the words to make it real for others. Here's her new space, just for her. *Thanks again for making this possible* In the photo: Annie Blogfish herself  Lyrics by AudioslaveSomeone falls to pieces Sleeping all alone Someone kills the pain Spinning in the silence She finally drifts away Someone gets excited In a chapel yard And catches a bouquet Another lays a dozen White roses on a grave Yeah... And to be yourself is all that you can do Hey... To be yourself is all that you can do Someone finds salvation in everyone Another only pain Someone tries to hide himself Down inside himself he prays Someone swears his true love Until the end of time Another runs away Separate or united Healthy or insane And to be yourself is all that you can do(all that you can do) Yeah.. To be yourself is all that you can do(all that you can do) To be yourself is all that you can do(all that you can do) Hey... Be yourself is all that you can do even when you've paid enough been put upon or been held up with every single memory of the good or bad, faces of luck don't lose any sleep tonight i'm sure everything will end up alright you may win or lose But to be yourself is all that you can do Yeah... To be yourself is all that you can do Scribble Out There's so much you can express, if you think about it, you might discover how wonderful it is to find different ways to give shape to ideas for others to take them and understand them. Each person has magic inside themselves to provide their thoughts to others... but as wonderful it is, the universe throws complications for consequences to get created.There's such a big difference between speaking your mind and speaking your heart. For some it's easier to express their ideas instead of their feelings, and vice versa but always keeping some information for ourselves and no one else. Reasons everywhere... like fear, one reason that (I think) we all share: is fear of consequences. We're afraid of what could happen if we say every single thing we're thinking and feeling... 'Cause staying quiet might be safe for our well being, so we keep on saving that part of the information that we're still not ready to express. That information is represented by feelings more than actual thoughts, because with feelings things are always more vulnerable, and we don't feel we have the control to avoid any kind of uncomfortable situations... or consequences that might hurt deeply. So we get used to have that info locked inside of us. A week ago someone I met died... Someone who I wish I knew better, but I didn't just because I never really made the decision to say: Let me get to know you better, let's share perspectives, let me tell you how wonderful I think you are, and how much I admire the human you are. Today he's gone and what do I do with that "wasted" information? We are here today, but what if tomorrow we're gone... What happens with the one that stays with all those words, feelings or thoughts... The one that's gone won't ever get it, and we are the ones that are suppose to stay here and figure out what to do with the things that were not said. Words must get out. Photo by Juan M. Lyrics by Matchbox 20 All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me I'm talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I've been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, how I used to be How I used to be Well, I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little unwell
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