So I guess there's more than one thing I'm aware I don't control, and I could say I'm ok with it... couldn't be happy controlling everything, but I guess that my excuse is that what goes around my life should be under my own and unique direction (of course me being under supervision of my master puppet controller: the universe).

To name just a few: someone else driving while I'm in the car, people walking by and not admiring the beauty of air and colors, random thoughts about that particular song, the time I wake up in the morning or the unique nights that I find myself awake and smiling, how much sugar I put in my coffee, how my coworkers are programmed to function, and others...

I don't control many of other things and I'm guessing that by writing this some sort of unusual sensation should be leaving my soul, but so far it hasn't happen and my fingers seem to be waiting for a perfect line to appear, but as I listen to this song once again to accomplish a total of 35 times in one week I come clean: fear takes over me and it wont let me go any time soon.

I can't control what I know is under control and it's driving me crazy right before I go to sleep... like a ticking bomb that last about 20 hours each day, and by now when it's almost time for the bomb to explode, I put my mind in golden thoughts to give it another day...

Soft night to put a post together, not so different from others inspired by a fun but true song and adding a kind of tragic image to make me think about this, just some more particular stuff about me that I'll have to start understanding soon.

Oh well...

In the photo: Wale
Lyrics by Lilly Allen

I want to be rich and I want lots of money

I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny

I want loads of clothes and I want fuckloads of diamonds

I heard people die while they are trying to find them

And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless

Cuz everyone knows that’s how you get famous

I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror

I’m on the right track yeah I’m on to a winner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore

I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore

When do you think it will all become clear?

‘Cuz I’m being taken over by The Fear

Life’s about film stars and less about mothers

It’s all about fast cars concussing each other

But it doesn’t matter cause I’m packing plastic

and that’s what makes my life so fucking fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption

And its not my fault it’s how I’m programmed to function

I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror

I’m on the right track yeah we're on to a winner

Forget about guns and forget ammunition

Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission

Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner

Now everything's cool as long as I’m gettin thinner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore

I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore

When do you think it will all become clear?

‘Cause I’m being taken over by fear