No Refill For What's Left0 voicesToo much with the same flavor Enough of the same kind of texture in my mouth When all I need to do is find a different drink No need in emptying this particular cup No big deal in drying the drops left all over No urge in getting rid of it Clear spaces between all I drank and what's left of you Liquids dancing all over my body from (most admit) great memories Bitting my lips just because I know you know Enough of recycled kisses Too much of your well-known touch When all I must do is go ask for a new drink.
Self Talk Sessions0 voicesI haven't been good with treatments, ever To get sick, to fall for something, to swim into situations... that I'm good at. Drown by the easiest sign and never finding the exit door afterwards, that's me. But I began to feel interested in this particular deleting process, one treatment that I could actually follow up and see what the results could be.. Kinda like trying to remove a sticker without the fear of breaking it. ...Because dear, you are too much of a mess for my body to handle. ...Because dear, with you it will never be enough.
My Bad0 voicesI didn't know water had that effect if spilled on the ground I didn't know blood was red I didn't know finger nails could cause that harm I'm sorry.. my bad. Was I supposed to know that your ears were that sensitive? Was I supposed to assume all this elements? Was I supposed to nod my head to your perspective? Well I guess.. my bad. I forgot that I never lead I forgot that I hid behind my fake smile to keep you near I forgot that I was supposed to be happy as well Then again.. my bad. There's your truth, far away from what I won't take Here's my blurry statement, far away from your will. My bad if I let you use me again. Lyrics by Alanis M. are you still mad I kicked you out of bed? are you still mad I gave you ultimatums? are you still mad I compared you to all my forty year old male friends? are you still mad I shared our problems with everybody? are you still mad I had an emotional affair? are you still mad I tried to mold you into who I wanted you to be? are you still mad I didn't trust your intentions? of course you are of course you are are you still mad that I flirted wildly? are you still mad I had a tendency to mother you? are you still mad that I had one foot out of the door? are you still mad that we slept together even after we had ended it? of course you are of course you are are you still mad I wore the pants most of the time? are you still mad that I seemed to focus only on your potential? are you still mad that I threw in the towel? are you still mad that I gave up long before you did? of course you are of course you are
It Will Grow0 voicesFor reasons I can barely understand, and ideas I can almost taste For fantasies I can already dance with, and sounds that carry my sleep since last night For my fingers to find joy and my lips to embrace silence It will grow in me as seeds on the ground. For lyrics that join my thoughts every morning when I think of them For everytime I hold my will just because I wanna see what happens if I don't For little secrets kept building one base of brand new honesty It will grow in them as branches on trees. For moments that are taken away For what you don't expect from me For memories that stand and pain that heals It will grow in you as feathers on a bird
Preach0 voicesI don't like goodbyes, but they don't really affect me so letting them go, shouldn't be as scary as I think it will be. Whatever I expect, they must go and I have to say goodbye. I'm not sure for how long we were all merged into one single person, but I do recall the moments when I had the wonder to share with different "own" perspectives, true or not, very real... And now it's time to make them vanish, because being a hypocrite is just not the best option anymore. I forgot who I was within all these different and very adequate versions of my fears; I lost the main idea and I must find it again. I no longer believe in me, what I do, what I don't, the reasons why I touch them or why I cry behind this screen... There's a continuous eraser between my realness and the facts I make up to avoid facing what bugs me, and these versions of myself are not helping, they just don't get to it. I forgot what I was good at, or when was my best time to smile every day... I forgot how to receive a proper touch and feel it under my skin. My senses are no longer connected to my heart and I no longer understand what these impulses are pushing me through. But even so... the clock won't stop, and these minutes and hours keep on pushing me no matter how filled with crap I am. Time is dragging me, making small breaks to ask me if I'm ready to face what I must fix, just to hear the same answer from me and keep on pushing me forward... I've been answering the same: I just don't know. If I could come out of myself and believe my own words, my own perceptions and visions... If I could walk with time without asking it to stop every 5 seconds, just because it breaks my hear to see me this way... I would believe things could get better, just for that moment it would work. It all comes down to two options: I either get myself dragged by time, seeing how my face gets crashed by missed moments, or I do something about it and start practicing what I preach. Risking what should be risked and not being afraid of loosing what I should just let go. Lyrics by Anna Nalick "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?, I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season" Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes Like they have any right at all to criticize, Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason 'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands And breathe... just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss "Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist, "Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year." Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while, But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles, Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it. Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, boys, So cradle your head in your hands, And breathe... just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe There's a light at each end of this tunnel, You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around. 2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, Threatening the life it belongs to And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button now Sing it if you understand. and breathe, just breathe woah breathe, just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe. 2 lines-Thought: Ready0 voicesIf I already got your storms on a list where's our umbrella? This time, lyrics: Now that we are over as the loving kind
We'll be dreaming ways to keep the good alive
Only when we want is not a compromise
I'd be pouring tears into your drying eyes
Friends, lovers or nothing
There can only be one
Friends, lovers or nothing
There'll never be an in-between, so give it up
You whisper "come on over" 'cause you're two drinks in
But in the morning, I will say goodbye again
Think we'll never fall into the jealous game?
The streets all flood with blood of those who felt the same
Friends, lovers or nothing
There can only be one
Friends, lovers or nothing
There'll never be an in-between, so give it up
Friends, lovers or nothing
We can really only ever be one
Friends, lovers or nothing
We'll never be the in-between, so give it up
We'll never be the in-between, so give it up
Anything other than yes is no
Anything other than stay is go
Anything less than "I love you" is lying
When No Beats Yes0 voicesThere's a small percentage of my continuous thoughts that is just not satisfied; and the blame goes from mouth to mouth, transforming into several excuses everytime I ask one of my different stages why. I know the message is out there, you don't need to convince me anymore, I assume it.. the message is pretty clear, and I carry it with me wherever I go. But the point right now is not that I need to erase that... all I want is to feel pleased with this wrong 15% of consciousness, because I do.. and it feels great. Like if I just want pizza, or a small burger, the urge of one piece of chocolate or endless bottles of wine; to desire and to obtain, as simple as reaching out for the remote.. Seeking for some release within these channels. Because it works, and I laugh at the rational side of me when it does. No, it's not what I really want, but for the 20 minutes I spend convincing myself I shouldn't give in, I feel like I loose life as running water. So If I want to say no for a while, and if on a good day I feel great by doing it wrong, then I will and not only you're gonna let me, you will help me get it. In the photo: My lovely Chan Lyrics by Alanis Morisette if I am hardened no fear of further abandonment if I am famous then maybe i'll feel good in this skin if I am cultured my words will somehow garner respect i would throw a party still it would not come i would bike run swim and still it would not come i'd go travelling and still it would not come I would starve myself and still it would not come if I'm masculine I will be taken more seriously if I take a break it would make me irresponsible if i'm elusive I will surely be sought after often if I need assistance then I must be incapable i'd be filthy rich and still it would not come I would seduce them and still it would not come I would drink vodka and still it would not come i'd have an orgasm still it wouldn't come if I accumulate knowledge i'll be inpenetrable if I am aloof no one will know when they strike a nerve if I keep my mouth shut the boat will not have to be rocked if I am vulnerable I will be trampled upon i would go shopping and still it would not come i'd leave the country and still it would not come i would scream and rebel still it would not come i would stuff my face and still it would not come i'd be productive and still it would not come i'd be celebrated still it would not come i'd be the hero and still it would not come i'd renunciate and still it would not come Vienna0 voicesI found something tonight, an exam from highschool in my box of stuff I keep. It was a physics exam about stuff I don't even remember anymore. But the fact that I kept that exam reminded me of something tonight; I kept it because it was the only time I felt sure about something I knew, I didn't need to study to pass it with the highest score. I actually learned something back then... But tonight when I see it, I have no idea how I was able to work that out, I can't remember a thing. How come I forgot about something I thought I learned so well? Even if it was nothing I would apply later on, I felt so sure about it that I kept the test 7 years later... why? to remind me about my great physics skills back in highschool? or what? We forget, no matter what or how, we forget. Things that we wish we could still remember, we forget; things we love and treasure, we forget... Time has no mercy and it makes us forget, there's no option. Tonight I realize that, I could forget so many important thing; things I'm so afraid to leave behind... But I do, and there's no option once I just leave them behind. And maybe instead of forgeting, I'm just assuming endings, like when I no longer cry for that movie. Lyrics by The Fray The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in
We smile for the casual closure capturing There goes the downpour Here goes my fare thee well There's really no way to reach me There's really no way to reach me There's really no way to reach me 'Cause I'm already gone Only so many words that we can say Spoken upon long-distance melody This is my hello This is my goodness There's really no way to reach me There's really no way to reach me There's really no way to reach me 'Cause I'm already gone Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again Straighten this whole thing out Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy This is the distance And this is my game face There's really no way to reach me There's really no way to reach me Is there really no way to reach me Am I already gone? So this is your maverick This is Vienna Cheater0 voicesThere's a line I like to step on, it changes when I do, and it moves around when I don't... like trying to find my feet again. When I'm on it, things move around with no trouble, life doesn't need me to react just to stay on. I'm a part of it whether I want it or not. While standing on this line, certain ideas are thrown at me, and my hands do their best to grab them all, trying not to drop them and keeping as many as I can. Ideas that I only play with during moments like this, tonight. Besides that, they are put away. Ideas that tell me what I want but don't come from this line I keep on walking on, because I find it easily stupid to handle the whole deal just avoiding and repeating myself the ideas will stay there for whenever I need them. So I cheat on them by coming back to the line, over and over. Because it is not real, it never really is. Just like all those nights, where what happens gets trapped in one hard and solid moment that won't extend, like gambling without betting. The day will come, I won't push it or tell myself there's a deadline, but I will choose the ideas over this line, holding back this reaction and way of functioning, just to see what's so interesting about that particular change. Wal in this photo and one explanation to one song that brings sense to all this: Basics0 voicesNot sure if it's nature that makes us like this or if it has something to do with genes but there's a code that's written one that makes us weak on specific spots some kind of label with instructions we all carry, on the back of our heads. From objects to sensations Whispers and sounds We must have them, collect them Own them and live through them We all must have at least one of these. Pages from a book of stories, maybe or counted nights in one roll of hours put together going back to the basic need simple desire of one special thing we all want, no matter what comes with it even if it's pain, we feel it with joy.
Self Talk Sessions0 voicesWhere do you think you're going? What are you planning on doing? What's the purpose of building something night by night? If there's nothing else behind this wall... What do you think I'm trying to pretend? Why do you believe in this hidding of realness? Like if for a moment, you'd think we are made of plastic No more than hard and rough components... What a fantasy of walking forward... How easy can I make this wall disappear in front of my eyes... But how strong it feels when it shows up.
Habbit0 voicesOf wanting to label and contain Define and translate Store and save Preserve and admire Collecting old uses of forgotten stories Unloved phrases thrown away Connections and meaningful spots Too used to keep clear glasses mixing liquids with solids and hoping like a teenager for a perfect match Granting whispers by fading words words that scape from my head just before I catch and hide Habbit of keeping, holding understanding, excusing myself for being this way.
Divine Collision0 voicesThere's a division in my senses and structures Two different corners for ideas to develop Two versions of my will power One that ask the other one for permission... ... to do these things... ... to think this way... ... to act like this. One I face and the other one I struggle with One that makes me lie constantly and the other one that provides life so often. While I support this side, there she is exploring secrets in my head... Seeking for what I try hard not to show, and pushing me to fun and joyful extremes. She does not care for the future and there's just a few ideas she'd refuse. ... I just wonder what would happen if they merge, ... combined into one silver state to bring unknown thoughts to this surface, ... maybe just to risk a bit more. In the photo: Wal & Mischa P. Lyrics by U2 Magnificent
Oh, oh, magnificent I was born, I was born To be with you in this space and time After that and ever after I haven't had a clue only to break rhyme This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue, oh, oh Only love, only love can leave such a mark But only love, only love can heal such a scar I was born, I was born to sing for you I didn't have a choice but to lift you up And sing whatever song you wanted me to I give you back my voice from the womb My first cry, it was a joyful noise, oh, oh Only love, only love can leave such a mark But only love, only love can heal such a scar Justified, till we die you and I will magnify, oh, oh Magnificent, magnificent, oh, oh Only love, only love can leave such a mark But only love, only love unites our hearts Justified, till we die you and I will magnify, oh, oh Magnificent, magnificent, magnificent The Station0 voicesI look from side to side, people walking too fast to notice any sound. Layers of noise bring my senses into a state of alarm, some soft chaos that calls my name... I guess there's no option but to fall into it. Was this the right station? I remember memorizing the path, putting marks on each place and drawing arrows to lead the way. I guess this is the following stop, gotta make sure because once I step out, the train won't come back to the station... my only option would be going forward, with unplanned changes. Is this the right station? This ground should feel familiar soon enough.
Expired Playground0 voicesI created this place, knowing exactly what I was doing... Some special areas for them to enjoy and fool around, fun and happy sounds to bring them closer together. They came.. as I thought they would, but not knowing it was going to become this kind of place. One with unknown experiences, atittudes, answers and crushed sensations. One place that brought all of them to make me face my own fears and hide them just to keep them here, without moving too far away... Feeding this urge of company with the best of souls I could ever find; I always picked the best of them, no doubt about it. They came and had fun, they developed many different sides of themselves while playing in this area of mine, maybe enjoying my presence, maybe just letting things flow without asking for too many explanations... Just a fun playground to be at. My very own feared playground. I've been afraid of letting them go, for so long... because having them here has been good to me, and all the efforts I've made to make it happen have been joyful, in a very shitty way, I like doing what I do to keep them close to my special place, just because of the constant fear of being alone if I don't do the right thing for each one of them. The right phrase The right movement The right answer The right question The right smile All in a pathetic system that I learned too quickly... But got also too used to last.. I stand here tonight, in front of their laughs, wonders, doubts, different and huge opinions of what I've decided about this place... I stand here not caring about what they will think about this statement, beacause I got tired of being tired, tired of seek for them, and making the efforts most of the time. If the idea is to let them go, then please just do... ...I will sure enjoy all this alone green for myself. This playground has expired. In the photo: Ruth Lyrics by Depeche Mode (This lyrics have one different interpretation from the other lyrics I usually share with each post)
wrong wrong wrong wrong I was born with the wrong sign In the wrong house With the wrong ascendancy I took the wrong road That led to the wrong tendencies I was in the wrong place at the wrong time For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme On the wrong day of the wrong week I used the wrong method with the wrong technique Wrong Wrong There's something wrong with me chemically Something wrong with me inherently The wrong mix in the wrong genes I reached the wrong ends by the wrong means It was the wrong plan In the wrong hands The wrong theory for the wrong man The wrong eyes on the wrong prize The wrong questions with the wrong replies Wrong Wrong I was marching to the wrong drum With the wrong scum Pissing out the wrong energy Using all the wrong lines And the wrong signs With the wrong intensity I was on the wrong page of the wrong book With the wrong rendition of the wrong look With the wrong moon, every wrong night With the wrong tune playing till it sounded right yeah Wrong Wrong (Too long) Wrong (Too long) I was born with the wrong sign In the wrong house With the wrong ascendancy I took the wrong road That led to the wrong tendencies I was in the wrong place at the wrong time For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme On the wrong day of the wrong week I used the wrong method with the wrong technique Wrong A Gift0 voices
This is the story of a gift left on the floor, brown medium size box with blue glitter on it. They both walked by it a few times, didn't notice it was just laying there, weird forgotten wrapped present just left on the floor.
They wondered about it a few times, walked around it a bit closer, because it was just there on the floor, like if no one else was suppose to take it. Just a gift that people forgot to take with them. The fear or holding it was so, that they got inside and jumped in, just to see what was laying inside that weird squared thing always surrounding them. They were in it, just for the exact time before making it vanish, never understanding what that was all about. Just a gift, left in the middle of the floor... too small to care for it, too shiny to look at it, too real to even think about it. A gift that stayed there to never be touched.. ever again. Burn out0 voicesWhen it lights up, feels warm and safe... like two pieces that belong and match together, special parts that attract each one, coming together as perfect syncronization. Just for the time this last, I give myself in. But then it goes away, because its time has been measured previously. And while the sun comes out, with no more fire to feel, I stare at your sleep and gaze with such sensation, one that just then I realize, will stay with me a few days, until my brain pushes away and I see you again. Because when it burns, sparkles shine on your breath, my hair between your fingers and this invisible desire to stay. Just before it burns out, I take all these ideas and admire them, because they are so rare and so sensitive that you fear them... Now we both leave and the fire burns out, leaving me wondering for how long my mind can take it. Lyrics by Oasis Born on a different cloud From the ones that have burst round townIt’s no surprise to me That yer classless, clever and free... Loaded just like the gun You’re the hero that’s still unsung Living on borrowed time You’re my sun and you’re gonna shine Talking to myself again This time I think I’m getting through It’s funny how you think It’s funny when you do Lonely soul Busy working overtime Nothing ever gets done Specially when your hands are tied Lonely soul Baking up your mother’s pride Nothing ever gets done Not until your war’s won Jagged [1]0 voicesThis will be a series of posts about the record of my life. Each song, each line, each sound; because with all of her songs I feel like everything has been said, and every word defines me... It's me sharing the album of my life. I'm going to break thesongs down from my own perspective one by one, because I think some have heard the record, but they still haven't actually heard it. [1] All I Really Want. We can give in so easily to other people... people and what they need, want, expect... like if a big gigantic eraser would be chasing us, us and our needs, desires, expectations. We give and fight back, because we wan't to avoid it.. Not compromising, holding back, expressing things loud and clear... Us and them.. a continuos struggle. And I wonder... all the time, what the hell do they want? The song: http://tinysong.com/tdWC The Lyrics: Do I stress you out My sweater is on backwards and inside out And you say how appropriate I don't want to dissect everything today I don't mean to pick you apart you see But I can't help it There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off Slap me with a splintered ruler And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already If only I could hunt the hunter And all I really want is some patience a way to calm the angry voice And all I really want is deliverance Do I wear you out You must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out I'm consumed by the chill of solitary I'm like Estella I like to reel it in and then spit it out I'm frustrated by your apathy And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land If only I could meet the maker And I am fascinated by the spiritual man I am humbled by his humble nature What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate Someone else to catch this drift And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses Falling all around.... all around Why are you so petrified of silence Here can you handle this? Did you think about you bills, your ex, your deadlines Or when you think you're going to die Or did you long for the next distraction And all I need now is the intellectual intercourse A soul to dig the hole much deeper And I have no concept of time other than it is flying If only I could kill the killer All I really want is some peace man A place to find a common ground And all I really want is a wavelength All I really want is some comfort A way to get my hands untied And all I really want is some justice..... Push0 voicesI remember the sound of your feet on the floor, as a sign of anxiety... With no rhythm at all, and with those childish shoes, I could only notice them after you stood up and walked to the train. I remember meeting this idea of who you were, a name, special thoughts, bad habits, tough voice, weird laugh, big and crazy family, incredible goals and perspectives... All these details I could think of while we both waited... I remember my controled movements trying to act normal, telling my mind to lower her voice, for my thoughts could be too loud, filled with lines about you... And just one command I did my best to avoid: Talk to him. I remember the scenarios I created in that short moment; trying to guess what your mind was telling you, probably something about the time and the train system, maybe how uncomfortable the bench was... or maybe how annoying the silence was. I remember you leaving on that train, and me waiting for the next one... As a regular mechanism I go through, waiting for something to push me and make my mind act for me. Maybe next time, maybe not with you, but maybe with more courage. Lyrics by Oasis Paint no illusion, Try to click with whatcha got
Taste every potion cos if you like yerself a lot Go let it out, Go let it in, Go let it out Life is Precocious in a most peculiar way Sister Psychosis don't got a lot to say She Go let it out, She Go let it in, She Go let it out She Go let it out, She Go let it in, She Go let it out Is it any wonder why princes & kings Are clowns that caper in their sawdust rings And ordinary people that are like you and me We're the keepers of their destiny I'm going leaving this city, I'm goin drivin' outta town You're comin' with me the right town To Go let it out, Go let it in, Go let it out To Go let it out, Go let it in, Go let it out Is it any wonder why princes & kings Are clowns that caper in their sawdust rings Cos ordinary people that are like you and me We're the builders of their destiny So Go let it out - Go Let it in Go let it out - don't let it in Go let it out - Go let it in Go let it out - don't let it - don't let it in The Bug0 voicesI tried, as they told me... to live a different experience, one with a variety of dimensions, one with deeper sensations... I tried and it felt good, maybe too good... because for that moment I forgot about the other good I had felt before, a well known good, one that I owned every single ocassion... I tried leaving the bug in my room while I ran outside to explore this other thing, and it felt good... perhaps too good for what I expected... I tried.. and trying is great... but the taste afterwards felt more like a bunch of nails in my chest, as the excuse for that so shared phrase of living for the not loosing... I tried but now I wanna go back, to my superficial bug, this condition of not compromising my heart, avoiding the cars that go by and the idea in my head... ... the idea that says that at some point I will have to try it one more time. Lyrics by Alanis Morissette You like snow but only if it's warm
You like rain but only if it's dry No sentimental value to the rose that fell on your floor No fundamental excuse for the granted I'm taken for Cause it's easy not to So much easier not to And what goes around never comes around to you You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much You sit...and you wait...to receive There's an obvious attraction To the path of least resistance in you life There's an obvious aversion no amount of my insistence could make you try tonight Cause it's easy not to So much easier not to And what goes around never comes around to you To you to you to you to you to you... There's no love no money no thrill anymore There's an apprehensive naked little trembling boy With his head in his hands There's an underestimated and impatient little girl Raising her hand But it's easy not to So much easier not to And what goes around never comes around to you To you, to you get up get up get up off of it get up get up get up off of it get out get outta here enough already get up get up get up off of it wake u But You Don't0 voicesThere are different ways to notice Some ideas that I could think of to see observe... Some I've borrowed, some you could use Because after every move I make you could notice me After every unique step I take you could observe me Right when I make something become special you could see me But.. well.. And my efforts feel good And when I plan them, I feel good And when they are executed, it feels good And just then you should notice, observe, see... I guess I could walk by you again but my imagination just won't go that far. Our roads could meet again, and my spirit could do its thing just a great scenario to make us glow for one night But... well.. you won't.
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