I don't like goodbyes, but they don't really affect me so letting them go, shouldn't be as scary as I think it will be. Whatever I expect, they must go and I have to say goodbye.
I'm not sure for how long we were all merged into one single person, but I do recall the moments when I had the wonder to share with different "own" perspectives, true or not, very real... And now it's time to make them vanish, because being a hypocrite is just not the best option anymore. I forgot who I was within all these different and very adequate versions of my fears; I lost the main idea and I must find it again.
I no longer believe in me, what I do, what I don't, the reasons why I touch them or why I cry behind this screen... There's a continuous eraser between my realness and the facts I make up to avoid facing what bugs me, and these versions of myself are not helping, they just don't get to it.
I forgot what I was good at, or when was my best time to smile every day... I forgot how to receive a proper touch and feel it under my skin. My senses are no longer connected to my heart and I no longer understand what these impulses are pushing me through.
But even so... the clock won't stop, and these minutes and hours keep on pushing me no matter how filled with crap I am. Time is dragging me, making small breaks to ask me if I'm ready to face what I must fix, just to hear the same answer from me and keep on pushing me forward... I've been answering the same: I just don't know.
If I could come out of myself and believe my own words, my own perceptions and visions... If I could walk with time without asking it to stop every 5 seconds, just because it breaks my hear to see me this way... I would believe things could get better, just for that moment it would work.
It all comes down to two options: I either get myself dragged by time, seeing how my face gets crashed by missed moments, or I do something about it and start practicing what I preach. Risking what should be risked and not being afraid of loosing what I should just let go.
Lyrics by Anna Nalick
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason
'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.
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