Hangman
The thing is, you're not really back... maybe you think you are, but you're not.
I'm here writing, the first post of this year, the first post after such a long time of weird posting and such confusion with this whole deal of expressing myself.. and as I assure myself that I just want to write something honest, you are the first thing that pops in my head.
As much as I wish you were back, things aren't as simple... because now more than ever I doubt you would ever return as you were before. We shaped out relationship that 11+7 and now we just can't change it.
I've been waiting for you, the real you, the one that would stay hours with a device on his ear just to chat away through some situation, or write at late hours to ask silly but meaningful questions... that character that I miss so much, has never returned. Not since he met the other side of us.
I've been waiting... and even when you think you come back as that person, and make me think you are the same hangman you've always been... the truth is much different and bitter, you're not the hangman I still miss and need. The friend hasn't come back since then and I know never will.
I still miss you and I wish things could back to normal, but I guess I adapted and no longer get the cravings for your long calls and your childish questions. I still miss you but I know you won't come back the way I want you to, and I'm not sure how long I can pretend this is the same as before.
Oh hangman, it's not your fault but we both commit this to memory... back in the past.
One Second
Of getting from them
What can't really get for myself
Pieces Some others, like me, became too protective with our own pieces and now hide from whatever could come and steal them from us. Presenting just this surface of who we are, but keeping to ourselves what makes us who we are. Because we know about giving away, surrendering and getting hurt. We know it so well, that we choose to act like fools encouraging others to open up and uncover their foundations just to be free... We encourage others, but aren't strong enough to do it ourselves. So insecure that even these words I must write as if they come from other people, because it is a bold statement to speak for myself when I say that I just don't want to let anyone in. Because how could I go back to being that free person that finds gold in the trusting, after loosing such important pieces of my? Dark Corners I smile as you hear these words because while you lay on my bed watching my lips move I admire the way you take these ideas so easily maybe because you dig them, or just because they make some sense to you But as I sing with my legs and hair, you lay still and try not to make me vanish Like a best friend to my fantasies, and I thank you for it I really do. Just as these lovely patterns of mine make you a part of my collection... I appreciate your willingness and grace while agreeing on my commands And babe, from here on there is nothing but this, just a girl that enjoys pulling souls into her junkie box. It is what makes me who I am Someone that hides her most pure thoughts and feelings behind a fake name, a smile that spreads like a disease from hell... Just like the one that got you here, in my nest of sweetness. Patterns that are my daily anthems with voices that come from the darkest corners, corners that you will get to know very soon. Yes, You Are I just can't find the way to you just don't worry about reaching out for me I will still get to you without your moves. I'm sorry if I'm still not there or if you think I'll regret this choice of belonging I've always felt like it, but I still walk forward. Sorry if you wonder whether or not I chose you and if you still don't understand what kind of person would choose to be with you I'm guessing this whole issue would make you think less of me and less of you so please forgive me, while waiting. Take this as a given mirror and use me to see your own reflection of chaos I won't mind if you do because in that process, you'll show me my own damage. I Do I've chosen this many, many times babe Don't try to explain how things work, for me, it is pretty much a well known game. I wish you would be my first, but I must admit I've gone down this selfish road many times, and even when you think this could be a whole different experience let the moment show you the ways I use to avoid the truth. I've always known, and known well So as you But when we get together, tonight, we'll pretend we don't Because we don't wanna face what's coming after the smoke is gone... I do like it, and I do risk a lot I do like to play with the coffee mug on the bed I do think the danger brings a sack of ignorance So, is there a door you need to go through right now? Because babe... that's all we need right now. And as far as I see, we're dead by now so we might as well enjoy. Make Me Come Alive
You help me and I help you
we can both breathe this at the same time
there is nothing waiting for us
nothing that needs our attention this moment
Press this special button and then wait for it
because I'm not awake unless you do
and I don't function unless you do
Make me come alive with those sounds that still surprise me
Make me inhale through your presence so near me
Make me aware of this moment
Because I don't unless you do
Because I can't unless you do
You touch me and I touch you
we can both be this way just for a little while
and if tomorrow wonders about us
be the one who answers for me
In Every Tree
I ran so fast that I didn't notice
and I came and tried to explain that I was just too eager to satisfy myself
you heard, but did not understand
you thought I was just lying to get away with the whole deal.
I jumped, one two and three times
'till you asked me to stop because I was hitting my knees against the floor
I cried and tried to defend my point of view
just looking for a way to show you my perspective and my plan
I hid within myself and locked my whole self for years
and gave you the key to come and help me if I needed to
but I would never let you, no matter how much you tried
I chose this, a long time ago and there is no way I can get rid of it
Even when you walk right next to me, and hold my hand everytime
I still choose to put my head in every tree,
looking for what I've missed in all the wrong places.
Lyrics by Nelly Furtado
It's getting so lonely inside this bed
Don't know if I should lick my wounds or say woe is me instead
And there's an aching inside my head
It's telling me I'm better off alone
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you will get some
They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
They say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
And I say follow me follow me follow me down down down down
till' you see all my dreams
Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems
I looked above the other day
Cuz I think I'm good and ready for a change
I live my life by the moon
If it's high play it low, if it's harvest go slow and if it's full, then go
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you're gonna get some
I'm searching for things that I just cannot see
Why don't you don't you don't you come and be with me
I pretend to be cool with me, want to believe
That I can do it on my own without my heart on my sleeve
I'm running, I'm running, catch up with me life
Where is the love that I'm looking to find
It's all in me, can't you see, why can't you, why can't you see it's all in me
Where is your logic
Who do you need
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need
Follow me down, follow me down down down,
I do not need I do not need nobody
Where is your logic
Who do you need
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
|
