Do you?

 
A good day is a day when I choose to ignore my fears, besides that all I’ve got are bad days.

Such a struggle people go through… not even knowing the warriors, not understanding why they’re fighting for or what to get at the end of it. But definitely a mental fight that goes on and on, having small recesses, but coming back to dig and create questions that might hunt us during our sleep.

If you could list them, one next to the other, in a numeric order facing the expression of sensations into words. Situations, emotions, decisions all based on fears that have come with no card of history. Not knowing why they’re here or how they work, but giving them some of the control we own of our lives.

Good things ending, people leaving our roads, feelings fading, feelings being created, a huge distance between reality and expectations, lack of freedom, lack of structure, voids, disorganized memories… So many I would keep on adding, some I relate to, some I’ve felt and are gone now, some others that have taken me by surprised… But all of them very real, as real as my fingers typing these words.

But how to work around fears? How much should we avoid them? How much control should we give in? Can we make them disappear? Should we? Is there a common ground for my fears and I to find each other? What borns in my when I choose to ignore my fears?

Welcome April.
Lyrics by The smiths

Smoke
Lingers 'round your fingers
Train
Heave on - to Euston
Do you think you've made
The right decision this time ?
Oh ...

You left
Your tired family grieving
And you think they're sad because you're leaving
But did you see Jealousy in the eyes
Of the ones who had to stay behind ?
And do you think you've made
The right decision this time ?

You left
Your girlfriend on the platform
With this really ragged notion that you'll return
But she knows
That when he goes
He really goes
And do you think you've made
The right decision this time?

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