How can I explain this frustration in just a few words? Because even after so many years of mind evolution and "changes" in the visions of society, we all get defined the same way... Maybe a perspective that sells me in the cheapest way possible.

Needs are needs, ideas are just ideas and whatever we are is just that... What changes is the ways we tend to diverge and explore that within ourselves, to then throw it to the world as if they needed it so bad. What pisses me of (and this phrase reminds me of a very friendly blogger that will smile after reading this) is how hypocrite people can be. Do not take me wrong, there are likes and dislikes but further beyond there's a stupid conception of what a girl actually needs.

Just the pure truth, boys and girls are both made of the same skin, so make up your own opinions and ideas and help me out so I don't have to dig much deeper in that matter. But just the fact that there's honest freedom and fake freedom, there's always too much of something and edges of ideas, but it doesn't mean that freedom within desires has to be defined with one unique term. Because if I choose to free myself to get to know what I like or who I am, or just for the fact that I enjoy my decisions and I'm sure of what I'm choosing, then there's a label put on me or my behavior.

Take the mask off, because I blame you boy and girl for defining something that doesn't need to be defined for others to understand the way you live. I invite you to be happy or sad, satisfied or not, free or fake, whatever you choose, but keeping things as real as it possible... So many years have passed and we're still supposed to behave, act, date and make out in a certain way for whatshisname to feel right about us.

I'm almost sure there are millions of thoughts, ideas and fantasies fighting among each other in so many people's heads... but sadly enough only a few dare to bring them out properly and freely, like if we were separated in a room, were both sides condemn each other for their choices of living.

...Really? Then I wish you all the best on that side of the room, I'll stay on this one.

Lyrics by No Doubt

I started out on the wrong foot
Now I'm not myself
I am Jekyll, I am Hyde
Found this place to hide
Come seek me

Oh, so up and down
So back and forth
So insecure
Can't get this taste out of my mouth
Swallow it down
Pretend

Hold it, hold it all in
Let it build up
Build a bomb
Blow it, blow it away
Clear it all out
Just end it

I'm just a normal person
Without those problems
When did it change?
Admissions so embarrassing
I'm on the verge of tears again

Oh look I took the Band-Aid off
Did I take it off too soon?
Hysterical confession
My big courageous move

Don't gasp at the predictable
A comforting lie can't last
Preordained checklist of this awkward love
It's so sad

It will feel just right.

Lyrics by Newton Faulkner

No one move,
No one speak,
Please don't say that it's just me, it's not just me.
And even though I wont forget,
Just don't want this to end just yet, not just yet.

And if I had one chance to freeze time
And stand still and soak in everything,
I'd choose right now.
And if I had one night where sunshine coul break through and show you everything,
I'd choose right now,

If this is it, all we have,
I know I've done all I can,
If this is it.
And we can't stop, and start again
We can't fast forward to the end
This is it.

And if I had one chance to freeze time
And stand still and soak in everything,
I'd choose right now.
And if I had one night where sunshine could break through and show you everything,
I'd choose right now,

Before the fears that I once had start coming back... again.
Oh please come back again... again,
Oh please come back again,
Oh please come back again.

And I'm so scared I might forget,
Just don't want this to end just yet,
Not just yet.

But if I had one chance to freeze time
And stand still and soak in everything,
I'd choose right now.
And if I had one night with sunshine to break through and show you everything,
I'd choose right now,
Before the fears that I once had start coming back... again.

Not the first time this happens, and there's a rush that even when you try as much as you do, you can't control it... He gets under your skin and thoughts.

Running away from him sounds logical, and this time running can be so pretty and accurate... for an empty segment of unique and blank experiences don't seem to be worth it.

As much as your body and energy claim that coming back and chasing of that attractive soul, your feet seem to know better and they walk along a path that actually makes you happy, no questions at all.

We're not there yet, but soon... I'm sure... That land we once left where I remember running with a smile to big to understand, and sounds that were just friendly and joyful... Soon, but not just yet.

Just sshh.. I won't ask you just yet, but listen as we get closer to that place... I've been waiting for a long time and as I feel you get ready, my hidden smile gives me away.

We're not there yet, but soon... I'm sure.

Lyrics

What can only be here

To get to ??

I grew up in a town much different than this one

With a language upside down

So we can't talk about it

You try your best to stay awake

I've been empty in so long

I don't know which hope i should take

Then you put me on this vacation

So it's really not the town

It's winter halfway across the world

Somewhere its bright daylight

And somewhere someone sails the ocean

Somewhere someone's telling the seas

Somewhere someone's calling out my name

Somewhere they can't see me

They can't see me

I lived in the background

I sleep behind the scenes

I had someone take all my calls

And watched them outplay me

And I can't believe what you're hearing

I can't believe what you said

I can't believe I can't find this damn address

Before I drop dead

And somewhere someone sails the ocean

And somewhere someone's running the streets

Somewhere someone's calling out my name

Somewhere they're looking for me

This is important, very important for me... so focus girl.

So much mess around, people, choices, doubts, gray tones, weakness... I don't get them, what kind of damage caused that? Where did we went in such different directions? All of us.. so distant and so unreachable... I can't see clearly, and I fear every single second.

There are, for me, two kinds of decisions and besides that it's pure lying. The first one is the decision of not doing something anymore, you name the reasons... but it represents a cold and hard action that could work, almost all the time: it bothers me, so I stop.

Sure there's the whole deal of making that decision or understanding why, how or when... but basing this post on the most simple of it, it becomes just that: Stop.

The other kind of decision could be considered fake, but I defend it with all my strenght: assume the reactions and consequences of not stopping.

-Insert here a moment to analyze-

Sure I could bump into so many things, hurt myself, 'cause big damage and avoiding reality 'till it crashes. Sure to all that... but during the moment will feel good, nice, right. And even if I'm one of those girls that holds on to control as much as she can, for this special time of her year she will just live through the days. I won't stop... Pain might do me good later.

I fear every single second, and that sensation reminds me that I'm alive and I'm able to feel... I don't understand other people trying to avoid that feeling, that awareness of emotions. I just don't get them...

So if letting gray tones hit me is what will make me smile for short moments, instead of avoiding pain and not living at all... I'll embrace colors withing this weather.

Lyrics by Snow Patrol

I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed
(I could do most anything to you...)
Don't you breathe
Something happened, that I never understood
You can't leave
Every second, dripping off my fingertips
Wage your war
Another soldier, says he's not afraid to die
Well I am scared
In slow motion, the blast is beautiful
Doors slam shut
A clock is ticking, but it's hidden far away
Safe and sound

You walked through me, over me, with me, behind me

There are moments I stop, stare and feel the frustration run through my skin, because right about now I seek for control more than before, and less than tomorrow.

That control that can come in such a fake way to smile at me, while I make myself believe I'm able to push it aside, and without peeking... I don't feel like going back.

Oh boy.. what a rush.. but control found me now, even when my skin still feels your touch... control found me and this is where I stand still, watching my feet sink in this ground, because for a second I lost my track.. After three sessions I forgot about this happiness that was mine already.

We walked through each other, felt each other

But after moments of clearness like this one, frustration becomes stillness

And control holds my hand in this returning back to where I was standing a while ago.

Lyrics by Kings Of Leon

Taking to the floor with the wheel to the sky

I loosen my tie, I loosen my tie

Locking down the door with the rhythm and rhyme

There are games for more than 6 people

With unique ideas and strategies.

Some other games are for just couples, fun and pleasurable.

Some games I play solo, some other it's me and my mind.

I could have special guests, or just have them watch.

But there's a game I've been wanting to play for a while

One that brings the fun and excitment from unknow corners

A game for smiling and sharing

For feeling and touching

One that can only be brought to life by two

There are games that allow any amount of players

Games that start and end, shine and rise

Games that I've played and enjoyed

But not this one I want

Not the one I need

A shared risk, one shared shape

A game where we both jump in.

In so many things we could be so equal

As a reflection of old history and repeated phrases

Once met each other, and again, and again

Becoming such a delightful process

In so many ways you and me were the same

We found each other in a similar atmosphere,

To turn appart over and over again

Ending in so distant dimensions

The light that surrounds you.. I don't recognize it

Just as the peace that pushes my life in this dimension

Never before

Not even during the pain

I saw us this way