Dimensional Beat

I find it easy for me to express myself in writing, people might agree on this as words come out easily when actually, there's "nothing" waiting for these words to be said. I wrote about this a long time ago: in writing, I allow myself to express every single thing I'm thinking of in many different and creative ways.

Speaking is a whole different thing, words come out easily as well, but it takes time and too much thinking to actually say whatever I'm gonna say, and when I do what comes out is just a 25% of what I really wanted to say... Classifying people I relate to in dimensions: those who are behind a monitor or on the other side of a phone are bidimensional, and people that see me pretty often are in a three dimensional side.

For all this, I've learnt to manage relatonships depending on the dimension they're developing in. People that sees me in a daily basis know how I talk and how I express myself, and they might say I won't say too much but the right thing at the moment and that I'm constantly wondering. People that don't see me in a regular basis, will say I can't keep my mouth shut. And for all that, I classify relationships I have based on that fact.

For years, I've change the dimensions of all these relations, for different reasons and they are now where they should be... But there're others... just a few, that I can't really locate 'cause it's not in my power. Bidimensional relationships that I keep on feeding and holding on to for my own and growing addiction. But as much as I think of ways to control the sensations that come everytime I see how powerless I am to this, the more I depend on them. When I know all I could do is let them go.

I heard this song and it made me think of one person that became bidimensional for me, 'cause it feels just right this way... For many years of three dimensional experiences before this time. And for the "always there" closure to this post, this: it might take a while to finally do so, but the decision hasn't been made yet.

Lyrics by Liars Academy

It's news to me
With my head against the wall
Feeling beat
But not beaten up at all
Right now
I remember these things
That make me think about you
Right now I remember these things
They all connect
Let me tell you how I feel
All excess bleeds through the cracks
You lie cheat and steal
And you're all used up
You lie, this time
There's a train
Derailing in my brain
Once in a while
The driver says my name.

0 voices:

Post a Comment