...no, no estoy cambiando de idea, mi idea siempre ha sido la misma, solo que la disfrace...la cubri por un tiempo y siempre ha estado alli.. pero es mi idea, es mi forma de vivir y de estar, sola.. independiente, por mi misma.He estado pasando por ciertos estados de ansiedad, emotividad y confusion y sin querer he experimentado con personas esas etapas en mi, quizas la razon fue que queria cambiar algo en mi, o que en algun momento me senti extremandamente sola y quise aferrarme a algo, el hecho es que sin querer arrastre personas conmigo para ahora salir de mi confusion y estar clara. La idea no era sabotear a nadie, pero a la final siempre lo hago y por alguna u otra razon ha sido mi karma.. pero no tengo remordimientos, no siento que lo haga con algun fin determinado, simplemente hago lo que necesito y debo hacer para estar bien conmigo misma...
Realmente lo siento, porque no puedo decir que soy de hierro, si, lo siento.. Pero pienso que si de algo me sirvio todo esto fue para aclararme a mi misma lo que necesito y lo que busco para mi bienestar. Siento que comienzo algo, una especie de road o lo que sea.. siento nueva motivacion y entusiasmo para con algo, no se aun que sea, pero me emociona, me anima y por eso quiero dejar en claro todos estos meses, si fueron meses de confusion total, pero siento me han traido a un lugar de mi vida totalmente nuevo y exitante y mi mente esta limpia para recibir todo lo que se venga. Estoy libre y con muchas metas por cumplir, definitivamente estos ultimos meses me han traido al mejor estado de animo que he tenido este año...
... so where did you see me go
it's not the right way, you know
where did you see me go
No, it's not that I don't know
I just don't want it to grow
It's not that I don't know
I've changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
'cause I've been changing my mind...
"Art of Life"
Desert Rose, why do you live alone?
If you are sad, I'll make you leave this life.
Are you white, blue or bloody red?
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand.
The winds of time, you knock me to the ground.
I'm dying of thirst, I wanna run away
don't know how to set me free to live.
My mind cries out feeling pain.
I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart.
In the pain, I'm waiting for you.
Can't go back, no place to go back to.
Life is lost, flowers fall, if it's a dream, now wake me up.
If it's for real, just kill me.
I'm making the wall inside my heart.
I don't wanna let my emotions get out.
It scares me to look at the world.
Don't wanna find myself lost in your eyes.
I tried to drown my past in grey.
I never wanna feel more pain.
Run away from you without saying any words.
What I don't wanna lose is love.
Through my eyes time goes by like tears.
My emotions losing the colour of life.
Kill my heart, release all my pain, I'm shouting out loud.
Insanity takes hold of me...
Turning away from the wall I can see nothing.
The scream deep inside, reflecting another person in my heart.
All existence you see before you must be wiped out.
Dream, reality, memories, and yourself.
I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind.
Nobody can stop my turning to madness.
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart.
Why do you wanna raise these walls?
I don't know the meaning of hatred.
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies.
I only want to hold your love.
Stab the dolls of hate.
Wash yourself with their blood.
Drive into the raging current of time.
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly. "The earth."
Shout and start creating confusion,
shed your blood for pleasure. And what?
For love? What am I supposed to do?
I believe in the madness called "now".
Past and future prison my heart.
Time is blind, but I wanna trace my love,
on the walls of time over pain in my heart.
Art of life.
Insane blade stabbing dreams.
Try to break all truth now.
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain.
Cannot start to live,
cannot end my life,
keep on crying.
Close my eyes, time breathes, I hear.
All love and sadness melt in my heart.
Dry my tears, wipe my bloody face.
I wanna feel me living outside my walls.
You can't draw a picture of yesterday so you're painting your heart with your blood.
You can't say no, only turning the wheel of time with a rope around your neck.
You build a wall of morality and take a breath from between the bricks.
You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them.
You're trying to commit suicide.
You're satisfied with your prologue, now you're painting your first chapter black.
You are putting the scraps of your life together and trying to make an asylum for yourself.
You're hitting a hell at the edge of the stage and you are trying to kill me.
I believe in the madness called "now".
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart.
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself.
Still, I haven't found what I'm looking for.
Art Of Life
I try and stop myself but my heart goes to destroy the truth. Tell me why, I want the meaning of my life.
Do I try to live?
Do I try to love?
In my dream...
I'm breaking the wall inside my heart.
I just wanna let my emotions get out.
Nobody can stop, I'm running to freedom, no matter how you try to hold me in your world.
Like a doll carried by the wall of time.
I sacrificed the present moment for the future.
I was in the chains of memory half blinded.
Losing my heart walking in the sea of dreams.
Close my eyes, rose breathes, I can hear,
All love and sadness melt in my heart.
Dry my tears, wipe my bloody face.
I wanna feel me living my life, outside my mind.
Dreams can make me mad.
I can't leave my dream, I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am, what lies are truth?
What truths are lies?
I believe in the madness called "now".
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart.
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself
Still, I haven't found what I'm looking for.
Art Of Life.
I try and stop myself but my heart goes to destroy the truth.
Tell me why, I want the meaning of my life.
Do I try to live? Do I try to love?
Art of life.
An eternal bleeding heart, you never wanna breathe your last.
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A rose is breathing love, in my life...
.... shine kudasai