I'll do my best not to make this such a depressive post.
A couple weeks ago, I started identifying certain sensation that made me feel like shit for no apparent reason and I would blame it on whatever was closer to me at the moment: too stressed out, too tired, lonely, etc... But none of those felt like the real reason, so I just tried not to think about it for a while... After all, that sensation only came on Sundays.
Yesterday, while looking at the selling, I tried looking for the cause of this unpleasant feeling. And what I found out made it even worst... On Sundays there's nothing I do constantly, meaning that sundays are always random, there's no activity nor routine to follow. I'm just like a bag of sand laying on my bed, listening to the same music, going in and out crappy internet stuff, and just being quiet. And the reason why I won't look for something to do on Sundays is because I do too much during the rest of the week, so I should rest on Sundays.
So, why am I not enjoying my resting time? Why do I feel so empty and anxious? I used to enjoy silence much more, and now it feels like I'm screaming inside and there's no sound coming out of me. Weird and wasted ideas come to my head and my mind is free to figure out whatever I don't allow myself to understand during my week days. But thankfully, Sundays only last 24 hours and my week always starts again...
If I could make Sundays last longer, in order to push myself to understand and figure out what' really happening... Then I might feel a little happier. Maybe I don't wanna see what's behind that big but not huge wall: after my routine there's nothing but a "sometimes filled" pocket and millions of ideas of things I'm too afraid to make happen.
A couple weeks ago, I started identifying certain sensation that made me feel like shit for no apparent reason and I would blame it on whatever was closer to me at the moment: too stressed out, too tired, lonely, etc... But none of those felt like the real reason, so I just tried not to think about it for a while... After all, that sensation only came on Sundays.
Yesterday, while looking at the selling, I tried looking for the cause of this unpleasant feeling. And what I found out made it even worst... On Sundays there's nothing I do constantly, meaning that sundays are always random, there's no activity nor routine to follow. I'm just like a bag of sand laying on my bed, listening to the same music, going in and out crappy internet stuff, and just being quiet. And the reason why I won't look for something to do on Sundays is because I do too much during the rest of the week, so I should rest on Sundays.
So, why am I not enjoying my resting time? Why do I feel so empty and anxious? I used to enjoy silence much more, and now it feels like I'm screaming inside and there's no sound coming out of me. Weird and wasted ideas come to my head and my mind is free to figure out whatever I don't allow myself to understand during my week days. But thankfully, Sundays only last 24 hours and my week always starts again...
If I could make Sundays last longer, in order to push myself to understand and figure out what' really happening... Then I might feel a little happier. Maybe I don't wanna see what's behind that big but not huge wall: after my routine there's nothing but a "sometimes filled" pocket and millions of ideas of things I'm too afraid to make happen.
.. As coward as always..
Lyrics by You Me At Six
You've seen me last night,
Working the room had their chests going tight,
I got a theory, all I need is one drink.
I've got you breathing all heavy and deep,
Gasping for air and down on your knees,
You're in love, but for as only as long as you're wanted.
You never miss a beat, but.
And you're the best kept secret, rolling off my tongue, some say you're
As easy as they come and I say, what a way for or the ice to break.
The best kept secret, rolling off my tongue, some say you're
As easy as they come and I say, what a way for or the ice to break.
Break down, you've always been so proud,
And just look at you now.
You're a bad smell in this room.
"And I don't wanna, I don't wanna be bad news."
"And I don't wanna, I don't wanna be bad news."
But you are, but you are.
I would walk through hell with a smile on my face.
Just so I could make my mark on the hottest place.
The best kept secret, rolling off my tongue, some say you're
As easy as they come and I say, what a way for the ice to break.
The best kept secret, rolling off my tongue, some say you're
As easy as they come and I say, what a way for the ice to break.
The best kept secret, rolling off my tongue, some say you're
As easy as they come and I say, what a way for the ice to break.
And you're the best kept secret, rolling off my tongue, some say you're
As easy as they come and I say, what a way for the ice to break.
The best kept secret, rolling off my tongue, some say you're
As easy as they come and I say, what a way for the ice to break.
(Background vocals)
Never miss a thing, noo.
Never miss a thing, noo.
Never miss a thing, noo.
What a way for the ice to break.
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