Put that down and go back

Hard beginnings, difficult endings... particular situations, but all moments that share one destiny: the not lasting.

The missing, the enjoying, same destiny. Fear, stress, worry, also same destiny.

Moments that fade, no matter what, because all we can really trust is time, and the fact that it doesn't stop. Condeming these moments to a unique finale.

Days, hours, minutes, seconds... none of them stop and they define the simple structure of everything we go through. A routine that becomes a routine based on the course of time, like a circle where objects, people and other things can join or leave, altering the whole flow just for a while, right before time does its thing... ending things... fading the sensations, turning what felt odd at first into a normal feeling.

Wake up and go out there, but "knowing" that no matter how your day ends, it will end.

Stand strong and face goodbyes, knowing that what now feels sad, soon will feel as a covered hole.

Make that big decision, knowing that this fear that consumes your energy, may not become confidence, but will change and eventually die.

Lyrics by Death Cab For Cutie

It was one hundred degrees
As we sat beneath a willow tree
Whose tears didn't care
They just hung in the air
And refused to fall, to fall

And I knew I'd made a horrible call
And now the state line felt
Like the Berlin wall
And there was no doubt
About which side I was on

'Cause I built you a home in my heart
With rotten wood, it decayed from the start

'Cause you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along
No you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along

I braved treacherous streets
And kids strung out
On homemade speed
And we shared a bed
In which I could not sleep at all

'Cause that night the sun in retreat
Made the skyline look
Like crooked teeth
In the mouth of a man
Who was devouring, us both

You're so cute when you're slurring your speech
But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave

And you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along
No you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along

I'm a war of head versus heart
And it's always this way
My head is weak, my heart always speaks
Before I know what it will say

And you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along
No you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along

It takes energy, whatever it is we feel like supporting, defending... like sadness or excitment.

It takes energy for both, but the the difference sometimes is that some efforts are meant to be felt and some others are not, they just pass us by without waves of sensation.

It takes energy, sometimes not that much, but just enough to hold something up... that attitude, that emotion, that mood, giving specific instructions to each one of our actions, to go as they should... like speaking my mind if I must, wear gray all day, watch one particular movie, write about this.

Because it takes energy, and just the fact that this energy even exist brings out the most important thought for today: You either learn how to handle it, or be handled by it.

So whenever I feel like the energy is using me, and the amounts of effort I'm wasting are not being used for the bright side of life, then I must remember that the situation can be transformed using the same energy, but turning it into a much more high energy.

Someone must be to blame... for the rushing, the rushing

Someone must be guilty... for the early blowing, so early

Someone must know the reason... for the put out

If someone asks me right now,

I'd tell them you came with this season...

Even tough I know I'll have to pick up later,

I'm loving the colorful mess all over