Can You? Can you blame me for trying? Can you blame me for thinking it looks like fun? Can you blame me for not caring that much? Can you blame me for the deep diving? Can you...? ...Blame me for the joy? ...Blame me for the impulse? ...Blame me for the raw honesty? ...Blame me for the courage? Can you...? ...Blame yourself for still choosing to be with me?
Let Us Be Happy Don't be surprised if you find things exactly the way you left them Don't pull that face after discovering I'm still that person Giving the same dry answers Granting a soundtrack to each moment Expressing the same silence Don't assume what you thought would change in me Don't walk around me expecting to pop a fake bubble Showing what you always thought I'd become Smiling at your face of relief Saying I still don't mind Just don't, and let us be happy as we are right now, just like now. Worth Saving To start, just a statement: we cannot truly control everything that has to do with us outside of our own actions. There will always be different kinds of energy sucking, pulling and just playing with that missing part, that unprotected part of our whole self. That we do control, involves as much as we all know, understand and manage... ways of thinking, the decisions we make, the way we communicate, what we let others to see from us and how much we share; all that, submited to our power, but besides there's a bunch of other aspects that we don't have the time or the energy to reach out to, or we just don't know they are being manipulated by others... in other words: opinions. What I find very interesting is the fact that some can actually be aware of all this, and live based on that awareness, like just letting things come as they go and (in a very discrete way) pulling off that important energy, that will eventually kill the opinion. As most like to say "the less attention you pay, the smaller it gets". The thing comes down then, to the choices you make about these opinions... do you act on them? do you demand some participation? do you ask for some re-interpretation? or do you just let the thing work on its own? (taking away the energy I mentioned before). It can turn into a very difficult situation, while deciding if that should matter or not, and what to do about it... The way I see it, some things are worth saving and some others can just go on its course to final destruction; nothing will get solved by the power of magic, so it is up to people to make that decision wether to do something about it or not. I've tried both, and they taste equally as good. But the more you practice (as everything in life, practice is great) the better your judgment gets, and it gets easier to know when something is worth discussing and solving, in order to be saved... or when the best solution is to walk away from it. You either face it, or let it go. Not everything is worth saving, but those things (ideas, opinions, people, memories) that are, will give you the greatest battles to learn from, and the finest treasures to keep. Lyrics by Oasis (There's no better song for this, than this one) Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find A better place to play You said that you'd never been But all the things that you've seen Will slowly fade away So I start a revolution from my bed 'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head Step outside, summertime's in bloom Stand up beside the fireplace Take that look from off your face 'cause You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out And so Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I heard you say Take me to the place where you go Where nobody knows, if it's night or day. Please don't put your life in the hands Of a Rock 'n Roll band and throw it all away Gonna start the revolution from my bed 'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head Step outside the summertime's in bloom Stand up beside the fireplace Take that look from off your face You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out And So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by. her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I heard you say And So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I heard you say So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late and we're walking on by Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger I heard you say It's not today. On It I might as well crash soon, hit and bruise myself. I might as well stay down for a while locating the pain. But it would feel 10 times better than this stillness I've been stuck in for so long. I could loose so much I could cause so much damage But it will feel 10 times better than keeping life in such a small box. I might as well fail, I could really ruin this solid ground, But the truth it... it already feels 10 times better than smiling as I notice every day looks the same. Lyrics by Incubus I have waited
Dined on ashes Swung from chandeliers and climbed Everest And none of it's got me close to this I've waited all my life If not now, when will I? We've been good Even a blast, but Don't you feel like something's missing here? Don't you dare I've waited all my life If not now, when will I? Stand up and face the bright light Don't hide your eyes It's time No umbrellas No sunglasses Healing [hearing?] Hallelujah everyday I've waited all my life If not now, when will I? Stand up and face the bright light Don't hide your eyes It's time Sing I've been thinking about an object to compare myself with, just to give a good example on what I'm about to explain here, but the best thing I can come up with is a DVD player... yeah, I know. DVD players are so easy to use, they function so well and they can be so simple... just a few buttons and you get exactly what you want. Now, I know I should get to the point quickly so you don't get the wrong idea, you know.. about comparing myself with a thing with buttons :) The thing is that when you use the DVD you get to start a movie from the beginning, just one click and you go back to the start, no big deal... Well, my weird head thought of that while trying to give and introduction to this post. Because I am also like that, I can start from scratch so easily. Like functioning with buttons. I can get very mad, sad.. get so disappointed and stuff... but I just can't stay like that for too long, because soon enough something within me will make it vanish, and be ok all over again. Not being able to stay mad at someone for too long. That can be very annoying, but I guess I'm used to it. But whenever I deal with this "being upset" situation, and knowing that even when I have all the reasons to feel in such way, I will eventually give up and be ok with that person, I feel that I owe some kind of resolution to myself... Like saying "oright, I'm not mad at you, but still make me feel like I deserve some kind of explanation"... And that would not be so hard to understand, since I'm such an information freak, right? Well there you go, that was me trying to make a point, share some information, make some statements and once again, make myself more transparent by (I know) comparing myself with a DVD player... oh well. Lyrics by Travis Lately nothing seems to be going right. So low, why do you have to get so low? You're so... You've been waiting in the sun too long. But if you sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, For the love you bring won't mean a thing, Unless you sing, sing, sing, sing. Colder, crying over your shoulder, Hold her, tell her everything's gonna be fine. Surely, you've been going too hurry, Hurry 'cos no-one's gonna be stopped. But if you sing, sing, sing, sing sing, sing.
For the love you bring won't mean a thing. Unless you sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, Baby, there's something going on today, But I say nothing, nothing, nothing, Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing...(fades out) But if you sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, For the love you bring won't mean a thing, Unless you sing, sing, sing, sing. Ohh baby sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, For the love you bring won't mean a thing, Unless you sing, sing, sing, sing. 2 lines-Thought: Eager ...to create colorful and intense shapes with you to feel like you are worth it
I Could Easily Jump? I could easily fill this wall with red paint, cut some pieces of shiny sparkly paper and paste it all over, making some kind of frame to then fill with silly pictures. I could easily throw away my clothes, and buy hundreds of green outfits to make some kind of statement of how I wish I could feel every day, green. I could easily cut my hair and make some kind of weird master piece for someone who might worship the lenght of things, like hair... Cut it because of the release or just because I actually can. Easily, with no hesitation, like changing channels and moving pillows around, things that are done with no big preparation and for no huge purpose. A way of spending time that I wish could be my way of spending my life. But instead, satisfaction gets frustrated by planning and manipulating, for so many of us that are so afraid of other people's actions and intentions... Are we all up to hurt? Or just try to be free? And about me... I'm just doing my best to love each and every one of my motives. I could easily act with no previous agenda or possible consequences, thinking that if it makes me happy then there's nothing wrong in it... and when I do, when easily comes this easy, the world shows me how not-ready it is, for me and my actions... for me and my easy and loving way to live. Lyrics by Depeche Mode Put it on
And don't say a word Put it on The one that I prefer Put it on And stand before my eyes Put it on Please don't question why Can you believe Something so simple Something so trivial Makes me a happy man Can't you understand Say you believe Just how easy It is to please me Because when you learn You'll know what makes the world turn Put it on I can feel so much Put it on I don't need to touch Put it on Here before my eyes Put it on Because you realise And you believe Something so worthless Serves a purpose It makes me a happy man Can't you understand Say you believe Just how easy It is to please me Because when you learn You'll know what makes the world turn Unwrap I guess that if you could unwrap me you might think the answer would just jump right in front of you, but let me tell you this, it won't. Not because it's hidden deeper than what it seems, it's juts because what I'm telling you, is exactly what it is. There are no more ways to prove to you why this is what it is, but letting you choose and giving you time, time that surely I know how to give, but knowing that this time the only difference is that I'm the one to blame, and I ran out of options to make things right. I'm covered in colors, all the time, but you can see through them, you've always been able to, you just wouldn't do it. Underneath these colors there's just me in a different but still real essence, the same you met and the same you still care about. All that's left is this present, a very distant and hurting one, one that I can't figure out or fix... Never before my hands felt this tied with you. So all I have are these words, words that you know are real, but you're still not sure if believing in them is your best way to go. Lyrics by MCS Let's get fucked up and die..
I'm speaking figuratively, of course.. Like the last time that I committed suicide.. social suicide.. Yeah, so I'm already dead on the inside, But I can still pretend with my memories and photographs, I have learned to love the lie. I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent. I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense.. yeah Let me in, let me in to the club, cuz I wanna belong, And I need to get strong, and if memory serves, I'm addicted to words and they're useless. (In this department) Let's get fucked up and die.. I'm riding hard on the last legs of every lie, And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode, I'm about to explode. I'm a mess, I'm a wreck. I am perfect, and I have learned to accept all my problems and short comings, Cause I am so visceral, yet deeply inept. I want to thank you for being a part of my forget-me-nots and marigolds.. And all the things that don't get old.. Is it legal to do this? I surely don't know. It's the only way I have learned to express myself through other peoples' descriptions of life.. I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless... (In this department) Let's get fucked up and die. For the last time with feeling we'll try not to smile As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nights That still shock and surprise. I believe that I can, overcome this and beat everything in the end But I choose to abuse for the time being, maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die. Sister soldier You’ve been such a positive influence on my mental frame If I could ever repay you, I would, but I'm hard up for cash And my memory lacks initiative. God damn the liquor store's closed, we were so close to scoring it hurts, it destroys 'til it kills.. I am tired and hungry and totally useless. (In this department)
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